26 Sept 2024. 1850 hrs
I really want to write down all the excitement, downbad, respect, reconnection, and some fear of being drift away. Sometimes i just want let people goes inside my head so i dont have to explain things in words. Just dive into my brain.
The past 3 days ive been tumbang physically. These are moments im gonna capture in words, thus i wont forget. I extremely believe that anyone who crossed into our lives, bring their lesson to us, sometime i dig deeper. Why is it God bring me to you vice versa.
1. I helped baby khalief born at 2 am, helped baby girl at 7 am, had this unusual hysterectomy at 12 pm and the next day i delivered another baby khalief. So many khalief for one day. For the first time, i slept over in RS Tebet kamar 326. I felt tired, contented, and peaceful. Thanks for wonderful mas irsyad for letting me stay at hospital in drowsy hour.
2. I helped ican to make his work proposal. Cant believe its been 9 years of ebbs and flows, total stranger into friend who appreciate each other's successes. I would say pulling each other's hands thru hell in residency, but i realized most of the time he pulled me sih. And now that hes going away to study, i hope things dont drift away.
3. And i made this 1 long page about mother. On how they treated their kid will shape the kid's becoming. I stumbled into giri's mom instagram and she has this contagious smile and sincere. I want to know what is it that she taught him so he has such grit?
4. Dropped dr. Mades at her house and we were having 20ish minutes conversation about firstborn kid and how fragile they are. I always like having a company while driving. Most of the time, i just rolled my window half open, pasang musik keras2, wishing somebody would have the same vibes pas lg di lampu merah. No luck
5. In operating theatre, i hyped when bang lampos joined my surgery. I would do the cut n stitch, he would do anything relating to horsepower, either improve my visualization, or pulling something i am too weak to pull. When he stepped in my operating theatre, it seemed like half of the weight have been lifted.
6. In policlinic, i hyped when kak vivi joined me in the room. She would do all the welcoming basa basi and she would do all the talking and im gonna be cruising without worrying to make extra energy to chitchat. Dont get me wrong, i like to have conversation with patients. But i prefer to have deep convo instead of "ibu rumahnya dimana, anaknya berapa," i would love to have "how does it feel ibu nurturing 3 different people?" Or "what is it in your life make you feel like people dont deserve to have a wife like you?" I feel like i wanna grow old with kak vivi, she completed me.
7. Took my son to the department store. He felt happy and strolled back and forth with the shopping cart. He talked so much and excited. I came to see in another 4 years does he gonna be this happy do grocery with me? Is he gonna tell me all his secrets like we do every night? Hes getting taller, for the first time, his teacher told me he punched one of his friend. What other surprises by then? What should i do to keep the romance? I want him to feel secure to ask me for advice, i want him to feel supported by me. No barrier. When come to this matter, Thanks dr mades for fruitful conversation about firstborn kid, thanks to ican who shares stories about his mother's reaction makes me understand how to react to my son, thanks to short convo with giri who gave me advice on do n donts to the only son.
Thats all. Be back soon.
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