Forgive my mom, ya Allah for cursing too much

 Sept 23, 2024 1722 hrs

I parked my car and pulled my handbreak.

"YA ALLAAH AMPUNI IBU SAYA YA ALLAHH " sakha prayed out loud from the backseat.

I burst into laugh, "what did i do wrongg?"

Rewind from the beginning.

Sakha was sick, diarrhea and vomiting 4-5 times this morning. I called a day off at the hospital. Still on call in ER.

By 10 i need to go to hospital, but no one at home at the moment and i cant leave him alone. I call with desperation to my husband by phone from the other room. Apparently sakha heard and when i enter his room he said, "im sorry ibu, i make u worry too much." 

Felt guilty i said, "u do good thing, u do bad thing, i love you, thats the bottomline. And no im not mad at u"

So, we left the house, i took sakha to hospital in a jittery mood. Long story short, i cursed a lot along the way. Like i usually do, the difference was, my son was there observing. Apalagi kl ibu2 pake jilbab naik motor ga pake helm bawa anak SD, argh i cant handle it. 

Got angry because theres no parking spot left at the moment. So i was just moved the no.parking sign away so i can park in that same spot. Luckily i routinely wave to this pak satpam every morning and he sensed my urgency so he helped me to park. I left sakha at the car for less than 15 min, i drove back home. 

Raymond called, i put him on speaker. I said,"oom remon, ada sakha ya di mobil, so dont say kata kasar." Oia baikk, he said. But still, sesekali slipped of the tounge. Sakha would say, "ibu.. language."

I parked my car at home and pulled my handbreak.

"YA ALLAAH AMPUNI IBU SAYA YA ALLAHH" sakha yelled from the backseat.

I burst into laugh, "what did i do wrongg?"

"Ibu ini, ngomongnya @#$%&$( lah, +×=/<,$^ lah. You told me not to say those words, but u also use the words. "

Sometimes it doesnt mean what it meant kakak, its just an enhancer. But i was just say, "im sorry"

At least he didnt puke at all in the car. And he got better this evening.

Oh another learning point for today:

1. The energy i spend on talking and the energy i spend to keep silent when i want to blurt things out is just the same. But keep silent is flush the energy to the drain.

2. The quiet book by susan cain turns out pretty good. 

3. I need allocate energy on something. Sakha has been sleeping all day, i dont wanna scroll thru instagram. I dont wanna netflix. Been writing pages for nothing.