A Prayer to Die with Dignity

Sept 13, 2024 0645 hrs

Have you thought, wish, and pray on how you wanna die?

We do heart-pulmonary rescucitation in our daily basis to near-death patients. our hand plays like we are the god who can bring people back to life. In fact, I cannot resist the feeling for not knowing thing I did is just useless or gonna change something.

Obviously, I cannot see the line when a soul has leaved the body. I was just gonna stay there, be there pumping, focused on to bring the soul back. Being the one who hold on to this person, believing at some point she might come back. when i got tired, we switched to other doctor/nurse with the same belief that she will live again.

Her breath was shallow because she was intubated, the machine helps her breath. We pumped the heart, the heart was still at tone, but it was our rhytmical pumping on her chest doing compression. We faked a dead into a living. But we couldn’t resist the fact that she passed away. We called the time of death.

While she is there naked under green drapes. Leaving the world undignified. She might not wish to die like that.

Sadly, no one whisper laa ilaaha illallah to her. No one celebrates with her for the fact she was preparing to live in the permanent hereafter. No one plays role as a talkin, the one who lead her to say kalimat syahadat. We need ustad in our code blue team, definitely.

Recalling steve Irwin who died while doing things he loves to do. I think I was in summer school in the states when people was like whattt he died? By stingray? I thought hes gonna die by snakebite or crocodile chopped something off. I used to watched him with his great showmanship a lot of dangerous surprise movement to certain poisonous animals. That was an epic way to die.

my grandpa died in a plane crash. my grandma died in her sleep. my other grandpa died sick in hospital. my other grandma died in hospital. why? why Allah give such and such scenario what did they do back then to receive such way to die?

I recall I always pray shalat mayit in after every shalat fardu. So many people died in mekkah n Madinah. At the time, I think it was the ultimate way to die. To have people around the world actually prostrate to ask Allah to give the dead’s forgiveness.

Then I thought I wanna die in my prayer. They say, in order to die in certain way that you like, you need to do it often, most of your time, that ofcourse in fact increasing the chance to leave the world the way you wanted to leave.

That is what I have been praying for.

Although, every unhumanly midnight I need to drive myself in a hurry to hospital might be, you know, the foolish way to die. Masih ngantuk and adrenaline rush itu funny combination. But im just gonna add my preference to die in every prayer I made.