Like in that song

 Oct 10, 2024. 1944 hrs

I need to write down something. 

But i dont wanna talk about surgeries. The time i spent in operating theatre disappeared into thin air. Sometimes i felt like, why today seemed so short? Ah, thats because that baby, or that curettage, or that bloody procedure. 

Back when i underwent residency i loved OT to the bone. A peaceful place. Now i realized, OT was my escape from phonecalls and jittery seniors/consultant out there, and OT means limited chance of people yapping. 

Now, things has changed, long OT hours means big shot of skipping meals, shalat, human interaction, sight seeing, ontime hospital leave. Its not that my excitement to blood had decreased, but i realized i missed so much to understand there are also other unexplored sections of the world. 

Like today, i met this bapak2 in his late 40ish in periplus, i bought "no longer human" and he told me, u need to read this!

1. Kite runner, i cant its too sad, i read it once and i cant repeat. But i would.

2. Maktub, i did read it

3. Haruki murakami. Norwegian wood. Hmm. Heard about him a lot, maybe one day im gonna read it

4. Atomic habits. Naaah sounds boring

I listened to his expertise on this atomic habit that life is about repetition and consistency. He was very menggebu2, and i liked his energy to overcounter me as a potential buyer. He is from jogjakarta, we probably wont meet again, but he made my day. 

He said,"oh dinda, kaya di lagu?" 

Iya pak, like in that song.

To be honest, i had some other interesting convo with rani about well being, with dicky about experimental friend, with yafidy about last prayer, with dr. Purnawan about reality vs expectation. But its too complicated i feel like easier to keep it for myself. 

And this no longer human book, reminds me of my abandoned chapter i used to write about 'the greatest showman.' Which i feel like easier to keep it myself.

Maybe oneday in my lifetime i will share the chapter. A sad chapter. Like 'the night we met' song, which i played on repeat. The more i rewind, its easier for me finally feel sick of the song and explore new songs. Skrg, masih belum bosen.