it starts with m.

jan 3, 2045 hrs

mungkin ini lebih kaya diary, ga seperti biasanya postingan gw yang terlalu abstrak, only for the sake of 'supaya orang ga ngerti maksud gw.' yah, postingan 4-5-6 kalimat yang banyak enternya, sok2an pake bhs inggris, emang sengaja gw bikin sedemikian rupa supaya one day, pas gw baca lagi postingan itu, gw inget, why i wrote that, the story behind it, without any readers knowing exactly what i mean. bad bad bad intention. terlihat puitis toh? haha.

first off, akhirnya january tanggal 3! artinya gw sudah melewati sooca :) walopun setelahnya, again, kasus2nya gw udah hafalin mati2an siang malem, ga melekat selekat tanggal 2. terima kasih ya Allah, akhirnya saya mengalami sooca saya yang terkahir di jatinangor. literally, 'ujian yang bikin repot' (plagiat bahasanya dokter yang mirip ubay, dokter siapa itu, dr. risba? dr.bakti? dr. basti. yap, basti kayanya) tinggal osce dan sidang, insyaAllah. aamiin. go 2008!

2nd off, gw melewati hari yang menyenangkan dengan nadhila dan fahrani, as usual.
been into a long quality time conversation sama nadhila selagi nungguin ujan sebelum ke jatos nonton mission impossible. isi tentang conversationnya seru, but at first, i really dont wanna put that as a story in this blog, because it is too private.

but in the end, i decided to pick a bit from the story and mix that with other stories.

awalnya gw ga mau post this the story up, tapi ini yang membuat gw pengen nulis. so, i opened up my facebook, and read one of my junior high's mate status update, she is married, and have 1 kid already. (if by chance this friend read this blog, i hope this only be one point of view for her, menjadi sesuatu yang membangun.) i dont wanna talk about her past, her changing process, and who she is now, only her status yang match up dengan hal yang mengkonsumsi banyak persentase  waktu gw hari ini.

yes. its about living together with someoneelse. a marriage. some of my friends decided to get marry at their earliest chance, some will wait, some decided already not to get married, and on which category i am in? will wait. yep, so nice punya banyak teman yang argumen mengenai pernikahannya beragam dan somewhat surprising. tp sedikit nyeremin ketika i realized that in any category i am in right now, who knows future? mungkin tmn gw yang jelas2 ga mau menikah ini, end up living with somebodyelses without any formal relationship? atau yang planning to get married soon has her fate decided differently. this is why i love Allah plan this so mysteriously, because yes, when we looked back, we can laugh and cry over this. probably, again, who knows.

dulu mam pernah bilang, whatever happens what is bad from your husband, it is you duty to keep it confidential. and i read this:

"It IS a problem when your husband has a problem with your baby's poo.. Sigh.."

this simply a portray of what she is not supposed to be doing. an immaturity. and this should not be over the counter report to anyone on facebook. and when i tried to put my foot on her shoes, still this is not an option on how you dwell with any problems, especially in a marriage, and about a husband. i dont want this happen in my future life.

life of a marriage itu, as far as i learned, is far from easy. simpel, mulai dari lo melihat tingkah laku orang, dan ternyata pas udah cerita2, i found out that it was her/his family turned this friend into this or that kind of human with pleasant or unpleasant characteristics, dan mulai berdoa semoga anak gw tidak menjadi yang seperti itu, atau semoga anak gw menjadi yang seperti itu, and start to think about how to educate the kids so the outcome will be this satisfying. kompleks.

about to find a husband. beberapa temen gw pernah nginep di kamar, dan banyak pelajaran dari hal itu. to actually understand that habits can ruin mood, then forceful effort needs to be launched to divert it into something constructing. that having someone to share and laughed together is on the other hand. semakin dipikir ya semakin melabirin. ga tau juga saat dijalaninnya gimana. this is why i dont like the idea of pacaran, people pretend most of the time to be fantastically in a good appearance and totally a different person after they got married. -_-" ngek, i dont want that happen to meeee.

and to handle that, readiness to encounter things like these is important. today, one of whats important is maturity. to actually understand that when u are married, your partner and yourself are one body, your partner's unpleasant habit is not yours to speak it out loud, vice versa. anything that comes from you is represent both.
panjang sih ceritanya. beneran panjang. tp gw mesti bljr phop n bhp untuk compre besok.

whatever best for me, my future husband, my family, his family.
*ini beneran bukan krn galau mau 23 ya. u will have this phase in ur life, for some who younger than me, and you have passed this already right, you who older than me.