kata pengantarku. to you who are precious.
Defisit rasa menghargai.
"Friendship goes beyond differences." - kata AFS pas pesta perpisahan angkatan 06/07.
Buat gw, 'differences' itu sesuatu yang mutlak dalam pergaulan. dari tiap sudut bumi, walaupun makhluknya namanya manusia, hatinya tetap berbeda2.
Gw mau cerita ttg 2 kejadian yang silakan diinterpretasikan masing2. (Hati dan pikiran lo ama hati dan pikiran gw kan beda :D)
1. Cerita tentang 'kerdus' dan 'kresek.'
Suatu hari, gw berpapasan dengan 2 teman gw yang 22nya bawaannya asik dan menarik, easy goinglah.
Karena angin waktu itu rada kurang nyante alias heboh, kerudung temen gw ini sdkt tersingkap. Gw dg sigap, "istiqamah woy, tuh jilbab kemane2." Sambil megangin jilbabnya ofcourse.
Si yang satu lagi, "hahaha. Dasar kerdus." Nah mulailah gw merasa cupu, krn ga ngerti kenapa si kerdus dibawa-bawa. "Yaampun din, kerdus itu loh, kerudung dusta, yang pake jilbabnya pas ke kampus doang, setelahnya lepas." Disambung dengan yg satunya,"Kaya si'piii**pp'. ada lagi, kresek, kerudung seksi, kaya si 'tee**tt'."
Gw cuma ber-oh hahaha.
Dalem hati, let's play #nomention, shall we? Dan dalem hati juga, gw mohon maaf, ya Allah semoga saya tidak pernah melakukan hal itu, melakukan hal yang menurunkan harga orang lain. To be honest, ngedengernya aja merasa bersalah.
Kalo dipikir2 dan diinget2, pernah gw melakukan hal kaya gini ke a, .. Aja. Fiuh. Tapi insyaAllah semuanya ud pernah terima sms mohon maaf gw, dan alhamdulillah semuanya udah dimaafin. Semoga. Dan semoga Allah ngampunin untuk salah yg lain yg tanpa sadar gw lakukan.
And one more thing, this is not human thing to judge other's dusta atau seksi. Kita ga pernah tau hati org lain. Seriously, outfit lies too much. Yang seksi dan dusta mungkin hatinya baik beribu kali shg surganya jauh diatas yg berjilbab pantas tp menggunjing.
Ya Allah, sy mau masuk surga.
2. tentang teknologi komunikasi.
yang ini sedikit aja, karena gw sendiri kurang tau sopan santun bersms, berbbm, berfb, bertwitter, beremail kaya gimana.
yang jelas, di mata gw, orang yang dpt sms, bbm, itu wajib ngebales apapun yg ada di inboxnya(tentunya yg pentinglah, bukan spam). Itu cara menghargai org lain, menurut gw.
Sama kata 'tolong,' 'maaf,''makasih.' Tapi balik lg sih, kalo masalh beginian itu masalah didikan rumah. Tergantung seberapa bapak ibu ngajarin u/ sopan santun, untuk berterima kasih, bahkan untuk sekedar kalo makan jgn ngecap, atau kl jalan jgn nyeret. Hal2 kecil.
Makasih ya Allah, mam pap udah ngedidik sy spt ini.
But these just stories to think about. Nobody's perfect. Yah, let's try to be a better person bersama.
#i shall start from the man in the mirror.
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®
kemana mata rantai yang putus?
ga nyangka, after a while, the feeling comes back. please read this first: "sekarang atau 50 tahun lagi."
waktu dulu gw maba, kakak2 kelas yang ngeospek gw mendewa2kan adult learning (yang semuanya pakai logika, semuanya berdasarkan data, yang semuanya secara ideal tampak benar dan ya ideal), yang jauh dari sami'na wa atho'na, kami dengar, dan kami taat. tanpa telaah.
semakin jauh dari idealisme mahasiswa baru yang masih fresh euforia 'yes, i am the man,' di kampus ini, semakin kerasa lelahnya menelaah peraturan dan keputusan yang kadang out of logic. temen2 pada suka bilang: 'namanya juga fk', and all statements which implied surrender and theres-nothing-we-can-do stuff.
there's always something we can do. masalahnya: do we care and dare to do it? misalnya, do we care untuk ketemu dr. nadjwa untuk ngundur waktu final draft submission yang emang ga masuk akal dari awal? if yes, do we dare ketemu dokter yang.....sebenernya bikin gw sedikit deg2an.
cukup dengan care and dare? engga. mesti istiqamah, mamen.
care and dare itu acute treatment, istiqamah itu chronic. tapi kalo masalah culture, bureaucracy yang super aneh dan ga ngerti lagi ini, ini butuh lebih dari istiqamah. butuh obsession dan repeated chances untuk ngebenerin ini semua.
care --> dare --> continuity --> strength --> obsession to make up all the mess.sumpah, males ngurusin ginian. tapi kalo gw ga seneng, atau at least membuat hal ini sesuatu yg bikin gw berkembang. 3,5 tahun gw ngurusin angkatan, cuma debu yang disapu ilang. hell. i gotta tak some benefits from this. i gotta learn from things i dislike the most.
gertak sambal.
ini kultur fk unpad bgt. apa kultur ppsk banget?
"kumpulin skripsi tanggal 19! kalo engga, nunda koass 6 bulan!" nyatanya toh diundur sampai tanggal 23 desember. nyatanya toh ttp ada sidang susulan. kaya semacam keputusan2 yang diambil oleh atasan fakultas di awal selalu ga masuk akal.
"harus lulus osce, kalo ga lulus ga usah proceed ke next station, karena harus ngulang tahun depan!" nyatanya toh diantara dokter2 penguji itu ga pernah senafas. ga pernah. miskomunikasi yang harusnya menjadi hal yang unusual, di fk unpad ini malah jadi sebuah penyerta wajib di setiap kegiatan. mahasiswa itu elemen mutlak yang dirugikan.
ini apa takdir mahasiswa angkatan 08 aja yang ditarik-ulur kaya gini, apa memang dari 10 tahun yang lalu kaya gini sih? enggalah, kayanya dari angkatan2 atas emang semuanya kaya gini.
gw sih kesel sebenernya. terutama ketika, again, and again, temen2 disuruh ngisi form yang again dan again isinya sama dengan data yang udah gw susun, gw sortir, dan gw email langsung, temen2 masiiihhhh aja disuruh dealing ama yang namanya judul skripsi, biodata, dll.
kalo manajemennya bagus, gw yakin, sebenernya diantara pak iqbal n bu cicih itu bisa komunikasi langsung. toh, selalu lebih gampang mnransfer data pake USB, instead of ngumpulin form satu per satu orang.
belum lagi cerita temen2 di perpus. yang rajin2, emang rajin minjem buku. tapi manajemen perpusnya berantakan, yang rajin malah end up bayar buku yg 'katanya' belum dikembaliin. yang harusnya bayar denda x puluh ribu, bisa dikorting jadi x-60 puluh ribu. ini tuh akar mudharatnya dari siapa sih.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
lelah memang when we have this imagination of such an ideal life, honest and clear bureaucracy, innocent, sinless, beneficial surrounding, tapi nyatanya all opposes. then we need to break the culture. kalo ga ada we, mungkin only i. itupun kalo gw masih mau. hahaha.
sampah emang things like this fading idealism.
politics can be a noble career, a smart game, or a nuisance. - oscar wilde. God, please! i dont wanna deal with bureaucracy.
hilang 1 kekhawatiran..
finally the day of 24th went by, which means the day i presented my minor thesis research was done, which means, literally 5 characters have been added to the last part of my name: S.Ked :)
so, its been 3,5 years studying medicine, and it is still not enough, we got another 1,5 years co-assisting, and 1 year internship, so yah. still, we're not a doctor yet, we're student. its tiring, maybe, but at least, hilang 1 kekhawatiran. -bebelac 3. to be grateful is an option.
after walked out of the 'court', i went to this conversation with a very good friend of mine. about how he couldnt imagine, at first, that he would be in this phase, actually got the degree. stories after stories people underestimated, but i learned from that it is he chooses his own future. no matter how people look down on this person.
once one said, 'when i was a kid, they said that i can be anything i want, then, i decided to be a legend."
therefore this story about just about to become a doctor is legendary enough. for some. for the other some, this story means another beginning of hard works and kick butts.
the other day, i rode a bus from jakarta to jatinangor, i went to a conversation with new marriage couple, but they arent that young. the wife, to whom i talked to, was a teacher. she told me about school-kids' phases, start from knowing friends, opposite sex friends, deep friendships and networking, understanding money, understanding relationship, trusteeship, understanding passion and start to think about what they really wanna be.
from that i understand, not all people nice and what we expected to be in an instant way. to be wise and mature, they need to have problems. they have to know how to overcome. they need to know what to protect, their rights and their duties.
i was admiring a man whose from the very beginning his leadership showed from when he was in junior high, i used to think that kinda performance is inherited. and i used to look down on a person, who seemed very childish in his late teens and early twenties.
when i made friendship and had enough of deep conversations to get to know them well, the person i admired goes to a sense of detachment of a family (well, it doesnt mean that he's like a broken home, or stuff like that) he is just, a "professional" kid, even if to the parents, he acted professional, if i may say, emotionless.
this childish friend of mine, in the end i knew that he might not lead his surroundings, but still maturity comes along the way if we learn. i thought that leading is always a massive movement. i now know that stirring your own destiny, to actually become a doctor, for your own sake or your parents' sake, is leading. to actually lead yourself to reach the goal, to lead yourself to an end of a journey.
people might grew in the different way, producing different kinds of people. people may grow and lead a massive citizens, may only lead a family or a self, but they are all good humans, it depends only of which way we see them.
hide feelings.
a friend: "life is not always good. our 'good' feelings may oscillate to other person's sadness. like jealousy."
this only a part of a small conversation. emphasize the lesson my mom told me over years ago, which i havent find out how, to hide feelings, like The Queen. her smiles implied either pleasure or grief.
its a good thing, i think to start to hide feelings. if we cry, some may have pity on us, some may think we are weak, which is lame and shows a little of feminine views. if we laugh to free, some may think its contagious and laugh along, some may think that we arent sensitive enough to look around, looking for who are sad, and may hold our laughter a bit.
inilah kenapa mikirin orang itu melelahkan. we cannot win everybody's heart. some hearts may worth fighting, some may not.
talking about heart will only end this story up, you know, with these sparkling stars comes out of the laptop, with slides of conversation or mute scenes which had passed but the smell lingers. haha.
this might be why we should hide feelings, when it is being expressed too excessive, it hurts when life turn out the other way, when it goes shallow, it annoys so much.
this post may fit the rubbish can, but still, this perhaps a place where hungry hearts find something to eat :)
h-less than 24 hrs.
finally the end just about to come, new chapter eventually arrives.
dear Allah, my Supreme, The Most Merciful,
for those i did wrong, i apologize deeply,
may You forgive. may You forgive.
dear Allah, my Whom I report sadness and glory,
please kindly grant us self-confidence, contentment, and boldness,
and ease the tasks for us,
and loose the defect from our tongue, remove incorrectness from our speech,
therefore they understand.
We glorify You much and remember You much,
You are the Well-Seer of us.
dear Allah, The Boss of The Universe, please stand nearer.
remove distance among friends,
so we can facilitate our feelings without saying.
indeed, we come to an end and agitate of future
May by remembering You, these hearts find rest.
in the remembrance of You, may You not deviate our hearts
to ease our affair in the right way.
aamiin.
:)
Sudah tinggalkan
tinggalkan saja semua persoalan waktu kita sejenak
tuk membebaskan pikiran
Dan biarkan..
biarkan terbang tinggi sampai melayang jauh menembus awan..
sementara tinggalkan semua aturan yang kadang trlalu mengikat dan tak beralasan teman
memang, memang benar teman
kita perlu cooling down dan melonggarkan pakaian
Reff:
Bebas lepas kutinggalkan saja semua beban dihatiku
melayang kumelayang jauh
melayang dan melayang..
bagaikan anak kecil yang berlari bertlanjang bebas
keluarkan suara suara canda tawa dan senyum puas
berteman siraman hujan di lapang yang luas
tak gentar gelegar petir yang mengaum buas
yang penting yang penting semua senang kawan
sejak kehadiranmu uh uh bumi terkekeh riang
dadaku berdentam
dididididam dididum dagadagadaga digidum digidum
Kita saling berpandang berpegangan tangan erat
Dan biarkan tubuh tersiram hujan yang lebat
Dan pekat di bawah naungan awan nan gelap
Terkadang menyilaukan di kala kilat lewat
Apakah kita kan selalu bersama-sama, kawan?
Apakah kita kan selalu berjalan beriringan?
Masih di dalam lebatnya hujan kita berjalan
Bersamamu, kita kan tebarkan senyuman
#semoga besok lebih indah, Tuhan. Jangan butakan aku dari nikmat sebuah kebebasan.