Allah memang Maha Adil, menciptakan suatu awal dan akhir.
adil itu tentang menempatkan sesuatu di tempat yang seharusnya..
dan gw merasa adil mengejar akhir.
karena sudah saatnya ini semua selesai.
what love means..
this is an email from my hostmother.. kinda amusing, but also profound and generous..
"when someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. you just know that your name is safe in their mouth." billy 4 y.o
"love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." karl 5 y.o
"love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs." chrissy 6 y.o
"love is what makes you smile when you are tired" terri a y.o
"love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is ok." danny 7 y.o
"love is whats in the room with you at chrismast if you stop opening presents and listen." bobby 7 y.o (this is so wise!)
"if you want to learn love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." nikka 6 y.o (sooo checked!)
"love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." noelle 7 y.o
"love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." tommy 6 y.o
"my mommy loves me more that anybody. you dont see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." clare 6 y.o
" love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." elaine 5 y.o
"love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than robert redford." chris 7 y.o
"when you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little starts come out of you." karen 7 y.o
"you really shouldnt say 'i love you' unless you mean it. but if you mean it, you should say it a lot. people forget." jessica 8 y.o
lucu ya? this is deep!
"when someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. you just know that your name is safe in their mouth." billy 4 y.o
"love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." karl 5 y.o
"love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs." chrissy 6 y.o
"love is what makes you smile when you are tired" terri a y.o
"love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is ok." danny 7 y.o
"love is whats in the room with you at chrismast if you stop opening presents and listen." bobby 7 y.o (this is so wise!)
"if you want to learn love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." nikka 6 y.o (sooo checked!)
"love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." noelle 7 y.o
"love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." tommy 6 y.o
"my mommy loves me more that anybody. you dont see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." clare 6 y.o
" love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." elaine 5 y.o
"love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than robert redford." chris 7 y.o
"when you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little starts come out of you." karen 7 y.o
"you really shouldnt say 'i love you' unless you mean it. but if you mean it, you should say it a lot. people forget." jessica 8 y.o
lucu ya? this is deep!
speculation.
january 14. 0815
why word has power? because it reals the unspoken spirits and courage, elevates mood, calms anger, triggers hatred, makes days more sparkling :)
words make us speculate. those forms hopes.
whats good about speculation is that we kind define our own perception, setting of scenes, the outcomes, as beautiful as we wanted it to be.
whats so heart-breaking about it is the reality that may turns out differently.
but, speculation looks like disease, it has percentage of life-expectation and it fulfills, or it complicates and end up in multiorgan-failure.
we, doctors, have the obligation to limit patient's overspeculation about the mediocre of a disease or the severity. do we implement it to ourselves?
#berhentiberharap
why word has power? because it reals the unspoken spirits and courage, elevates mood, calms anger, triggers hatred, makes days more sparkling :)
words make us speculate. those forms hopes.
whats good about speculation is that we kind define our own perception, setting of scenes, the outcomes, as beautiful as we wanted it to be.
whats so heart-breaking about it is the reality that may turns out differently.
but, speculation looks like disease, it has percentage of life-expectation and it fulfills, or it complicates and end up in multiorgan-failure.
we, doctors, have the obligation to limit patient's overspeculation about the mediocre of a disease or the severity. do we implement it to ourselves?
#berhentiberharap
hari ini. 4 kali.
sudah cukup menganalisis dan menerka sebuah prognosis
toh disini aku hanya satu manusia dengan lafal cerita yang tidak bisa digubris
semuanya sudah ada garisnya, kata bapak
menunjuk dan merunut legokan tipis di telapak,
lakon dan alur sudah tersedia,
tinggal kita belajar berhati lega
janji-Nya, di setiap susah, ada mudah
sayangnya kita memang terlalu cepat lelah
jikalau pun mudah,
kita sering lupa untuk kembali berserah
ketika pikiran ini sudah mengimajinasikan sebuah yang fantastis
tidak rela jika Sang Produser memutar baris
mengubah yang bahagia menjadi yang membuat hati teriris
membelokkan yang penuh cinta ke arah yang tak manis
dasar manusia yang tak tahu seimbang,
dasar aku yang penuh bimbang,
membuat prasangka ceritaku sendiri
padahal siapa aku selain makhluk yang sudah tertakdiri
tapi, memang MASIH BISA
masih bisa berdoa
imajinasi masih bisa jadi realita
entah bagaimana.
do not cry.
"it is only spring merely asleep and the flowers start to rest"
-oscar wilde
they'll cheer back afterwhile.
toh disini aku hanya satu manusia dengan lafal cerita yang tidak bisa digubris
semuanya sudah ada garisnya, kata bapak
menunjuk dan merunut legokan tipis di telapak,
lakon dan alur sudah tersedia,
tinggal kita belajar berhati lega
janji-Nya, di setiap susah, ada mudah
sayangnya kita memang terlalu cepat lelah
jikalau pun mudah,
kita sering lupa untuk kembali berserah
ketika pikiran ini sudah mengimajinasikan sebuah yang fantastis
tidak rela jika Sang Produser memutar baris
mengubah yang bahagia menjadi yang membuat hati teriris
membelokkan yang penuh cinta ke arah yang tak manis
dasar manusia yang tak tahu seimbang,
dasar aku yang penuh bimbang,
membuat prasangka ceritaku sendiri
padahal siapa aku selain makhluk yang sudah tertakdiri
tapi, memang MASIH BISA
masih bisa berdoa
imajinasi masih bisa jadi realita
entah bagaimana.
do not cry.
"it is only spring merely asleep and the flowers start to rest"
-oscar wilde
they'll cheer back afterwhile.
hari ini. 3 kali.
masih: januari 13, dan masih: sekitaran jam 1 >> cardinal signs of galau : beberapa blog postings posted in a day, in less than a few hours.
this is my-self-reminder: bahwa apapun pilihan kita, selalu ada konsekuensi yang mengikuti. i was dreaming of being the man with freedom and has choices, but then again Allah has insights behind those.
i have choices, and i have the right to choose, and finally i have impacts upon that.
termasuk pilihan
"i am sick of it. i quit."
atau
"i am tired of this, but i'd rather persist."
cape sekolah kedokteran? cape. lama ga? lama. disaat yang lain udah nyari duit sendiri, gw masih dikirimin nyokap bokap tiap bulan. so?
cape ga ngurusin orang? cape.
tetep nerusin? tetep.
gw cuma mau di agenda harian tahun ini isinya semua yang bermanfaat.
gw mau mengais pahala yg tersedia buat gw. takut besok udah pergi kesempatannya, atau gw nya yg pergi.
gw mau jadi sesuatu yg dikenang. dan itu butuh perjuangan, butuh persistence.
bismillah. dear God, ease us.
this is my-self-reminder: bahwa apapun pilihan kita, selalu ada konsekuensi yang mengikuti. i was dreaming of being the man with freedom and has choices, but then again Allah has insights behind those.
i have choices, and i have the right to choose, and finally i have impacts upon that.
termasuk pilihan
"i am sick of it. i quit."
atau
"i am tired of this, but i'd rather persist."
cape sekolah kedokteran? cape. lama ga? lama. disaat yang lain udah nyari duit sendiri, gw masih dikirimin nyokap bokap tiap bulan. so?
cape ga ngurusin orang? cape.
tetep nerusin? tetep.
gw cuma mau di agenda harian tahun ini isinya semua yang bermanfaat.
gw mau mengais pahala yg tersedia buat gw. takut besok udah pergi kesempatannya, atau gw nya yg pergi.
gw mau jadi sesuatu yg dikenang. dan itu butuh perjuangan, butuh persistence.
bismillah. dear God, ease us.
pergi satu tahun itu dampaknya banyak.
yang bikin bahagia cuma 1: pengalaman yang mungkin orang lain ga punya.
yang bikin bingungnya banyak:
-dual identity
-teman2 dan keluarga yang perhatian dan prioritasnya berubah
-ujian kesetiaan yang besar
-semua tentang "gw bukan yang dulu lagi."
hhff. seandainya Allah membocorkan sedikit rahasia-Nya tentang masa depan, pasti cemburu dan khawatir itu ga ada.
#sedikit tentang email2 5 tahun lalu dan bbm 5 hari lalu. #sedikit tentang reuni sma angkatan yg 07 thx to: aulia khairani for sure.
ketika itu untuk-seseorang.
january 13, 1058
musim dingin 2006. sepertinya, beliau melihat kebutuhan gw untuk exploring new things di hari2 dingin, dimana kita mostly terjebak di rumah karena salju yang tebal, atau sekedar hujan besar yang memproduksi lebih banyak car crash accidents, nothing to do. beliau bukan orang yang take risk, she let me know that stayed at home, snuggled, or do somethingelse at home was so much better daripada jalan2 keluar.
akhirnya hostmom gw ngajarin gw beberapa hal yang dia suka: merajut, beading (bikin sesuatu pake manik2 gitu), making handmade cards, scrapbook-ing. first, dia ngajarin gw ngerajut, krn sudah mulai dingin, dan mungkin gw bisa membuat sesuatu yang menghangatkan diri gw. dan mulailah gw belajar.
after 30 minutes, ga bertahan lama
and i told her that it might not be my hobby, i found it like a total boredom!dan next, selagi beliau merajut, gw duduk di meja yang sama, ngerjain kartu2 dan scrapbook, yang gw rasa lebih menantang dan bentuk eksploitasi otak kanan yang sangat konkrit.
kartu2 yang gw bikin kurang lebih 30 kartu akhirnya gw jadiin semacam undangan birthday party gw ke 18, dan tinggal 4-5 yang sisa, gw bikin 2 scrapbook template, 1 gw kasih nia, 1 lagi gw simpen, ga penting.
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musim ujian 2012. gw lagi duduk, nungguin giliran untuk dipanggil ujian. waktu darmet ngeluarin rajutannya. i told her, quilting is a total boredom. u do the same pattern all the way long. sama kaya nafas, kadang2 ga ada rasanya. and she told me that hasil rajutannya dia akan dia kasih ke temannya. not a special friend, tapi siapa tahu setelahnya mungkin jadi impression yang bagus untuk sebuah pertemanan.
si darmet cerita kenapa dia milih warna yang itu, kenapa dia nyedian waktu that much untuk bikin itu, kenapa pattern yang dia pilih seperti ini dan seperti itu.
to be honest, setelah ngedenger filofosi dibalik rajutannya, the background why, gw jadi seneng ngeliatin dia ngerajut. walopun still, menurut gw boring.
now i think that, semembosan-bosankannya merajut, ketika kita tahu untuk siapa, untuk apa hal itu dilakukan, pasti kita dapet spiritnya. sama kaya kartu dan scrapbook gw, gw tahu buat apa gw bikin itu semua. untuk ngerajut, mungkin waktu itu alam bawah sadar gw bilang kalo misalnya, hasil rajutan gw ga akan dipake juga di indonesia, jadi gw ga kepikiran hal itu akan diberikan ke siapa, jadinya males dan bosen.
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pas darmet cerita gw mikir: when was the last time i did an actual sweet thing?
musim dingin 2006. sepertinya, beliau melihat kebutuhan gw untuk exploring new things di hari2 dingin, dimana kita mostly terjebak di rumah karena salju yang tebal, atau sekedar hujan besar yang memproduksi lebih banyak car crash accidents, nothing to do. beliau bukan orang yang take risk, she let me know that stayed at home, snuggled, or do somethingelse at home was so much better daripada jalan2 keluar.
akhirnya hostmom gw ngajarin gw beberapa hal yang dia suka: merajut, beading (bikin sesuatu pake manik2 gitu), making handmade cards, scrapbook-ing. first, dia ngajarin gw ngerajut, krn sudah mulai dingin, dan mungkin gw bisa membuat sesuatu yang menghangatkan diri gw. dan mulailah gw belajar.
after 30 minutes, ga bertahan lama
and i told her that it might not be my hobby, i found it like a total boredom!dan next, selagi beliau merajut, gw duduk di meja yang sama, ngerjain kartu2 dan scrapbook, yang gw rasa lebih menantang dan bentuk eksploitasi otak kanan yang sangat konkrit.
kartu2 yang gw bikin kurang lebih 30 kartu akhirnya gw jadiin semacam undangan birthday party gw ke 18, dan tinggal 4-5 yang sisa, gw bikin 2 scrapbook template, 1 gw kasih nia, 1 lagi gw simpen, ga penting.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
musim ujian 2012. gw lagi duduk, nungguin giliran untuk dipanggil ujian. waktu darmet ngeluarin rajutannya. i told her, quilting is a total boredom. u do the same pattern all the way long. sama kaya nafas, kadang2 ga ada rasanya. and she told me that hasil rajutannya dia akan dia kasih ke temannya. not a special friend, tapi siapa tahu setelahnya mungkin jadi impression yang bagus untuk sebuah pertemanan.
si darmet cerita kenapa dia milih warna yang itu, kenapa dia nyedian waktu that much untuk bikin itu, kenapa pattern yang dia pilih seperti ini dan seperti itu.
to be honest, setelah ngedenger filofosi dibalik rajutannya, the background why, gw jadi seneng ngeliatin dia ngerajut. walopun still, menurut gw boring.
now i think that, semembosan-bosankannya merajut, ketika kita tahu untuk siapa, untuk apa hal itu dilakukan, pasti kita dapet spiritnya. sama kaya kartu dan scrapbook gw, gw tahu buat apa gw bikin itu semua. untuk ngerajut, mungkin waktu itu alam bawah sadar gw bilang kalo misalnya, hasil rajutan gw ga akan dipake juga di indonesia, jadi gw ga kepikiran hal itu akan diberikan ke siapa, jadinya males dan bosen.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
pas darmet cerita gw mikir: when was the last time i did an actual sweet thing?
DUA telinga, SATU mulut.
jan 6, 1723 hrs
dulu gw pernah baca buku two ears and one mouth yang mostly membicarakan ttg aspek marketing. seperti semacam how to be a professional communicator, how to deal with consumers and so on.
but now, why am i bringing this up? karena this also can be applied in any kind of relationships, not only in business, but also in, for the very fundamental in life, friendship.
we have two ears, because a lot of people need a person only to listen to their probs, not to solve the probs, not to calm them down, moreover not to compare their probs with other people's. just to sit and listen, to actually appreciate the presence of the one who has the probs, to make them feel that anything they got, worth to be listened, to get attention.
we have one mouth, karena ini salah satu self's enemy. kalo jaman sekarang, your typing, which portrays your mouth is also your enemy, mesti HATI-HATI pisan. engga salah kalo di afs, the principle how to make friends salah satunya: think 1000 times, instead of 2 times before you say something. and consider whether it is true it is nice, it is necessary? kalo engga, we better shut up.
why do we have two ears? from my point of view, karena mendengarkan itu SULIT, bos. makanya Allah ngasih kita 2 tools, supaya memudahkan effort kita untuk mendengarkan. kenapa mulut cuma 1? karena ngomong doang itu gampang.
let me focus on these 2 topics, the mechanism of how to listen carefully, and kinds of bad speakers.
kenapa cuma 2? karena lately this affects me so much, irritates me frequently, karena sering, makanya gw introspeksi diri, apakah gw easily annoyed krn gwnya yang threshold get irritatednya rendah, apa lawan bicara/lawan dengar/you may call that friend, yang such a bad speaker/ listener?
whichever the way, semua manusia emang berhak dan wajib berubah menjadi sesuatu yang lebih baik. so, let me share this.
dari buku panduan sukses komunikasi profesional yg dibeli mama u/ nonon waktu dia blm dpt kerja (fyi only haha), apa saja aspek2 dalam mendengarkan aktif (dalam arti kata, omongan lawan bicara lo bukan sekedar masuk kuping kanan keluar kuping kiri)?
1. willingness to listen
banyak effort yang dibutuhkan untuk 'listening' daripada sekedar 'hearing'. listening itu butuh telinga untuk mendengarkan, butuh mata untuk membaca body language, butuh hati untuk berempati. untuk ketiganya bergerak bersamaan, ofcourse kita butuh KEMAUAN untuk actually listen. beda ama orang yang pura2 mendengarkan. haha, buat gw sih yang namanya pura2 ya ga jauh beda ama boong, mendingan kasih tau ke lawan bicara lo kalo lo males ngedengerin. lebih baik lagi, lo males ngedengerin, tapi lo ttp berusaha untuk mendengarkan dengan niat, kalo itu sih, better of we hope Allah ngasih berkah dari pengorbanan tersebut.
2. pay attention
pay attentionnya ke siapa? ya ke lawan bicara. mungkin sebagian dari kita mikir, 'yaiyalah ke lawan bicara! retoris bgt'.. kata siapa retoris? byk org yang matanya ke lawan bicaranya, tapi telinga dan hatinya ke diri sendiri, mulai dari self-mind chatting (misalnya malah mikirin diri sendiri, ato malah merhatiin bibir/hidung lawan bicara yang bagus/sebaliknya, who knows. hidung siapa? ea), sibuk mikirin hal2 lain (misal:mikir what;s next to do list di agenda -->ini guwah! shoot.) ah ini mah banyak, udah banyak, sering ketauan lagi. biasanya si pencurhat bakal nanya, "hello, are you listening?"
3. understand
kalo yang ini ttg nyamain persepsi. berat bos. we may be with some people for years, tp mungkin masih ada misunderstandingnya, nah ini mesti byk2 latian. kalo di buku ini sih ngomongin sekretaris ama bos, kalo ama temen, mungkin kaya seberapa lo nyambung ama si a, ama si b. belajar menginterpretasikan kata2nya, maksud apa dibalik kata2nya, and soon. apa yang lurus buat kita, mungkin diinterpretasikan miring oleh orang lain. whats fix this? frequency to actually understand what they wanted.
4. spend memory
gw rasa implementasinya di sebuah pertemanan mungkin seperti ini: orang sering bilang,"itu lhoo, masalah yang waktu itu gw ceritain pas kita makan di x." nah, sebenernya active listening itu will bring back the memories. ketika kita sering bilang,"apaan sih, gw lupa." then please do assess ourself, do we actually forgetful? or did we actually listen back then?
5. give response
kalo di buku sih intinya: 1)pastikan anda benar2 mengerti, jika tidak, respon anda berupa pertanyaan 2) blablabla 3)blablabla and so forth. kalo di pertemanan, kayanya cukup dengan tau kapan harus nyeletuk, kapan harus nyentuh tangan, kapan harus ngangguk, kapan harus bilang 'im sorry to hear that', kapan harus bilang 'i am so happy for you', kapan harus meluk. kadang one rub comforts loh. one smile boosts the mood so much.
and now..
orang macem kaya gimana yang disebut bad speaker?
1. membosankan --> bicaranya panjang, ga ada titik koma. lebih parah kalo orang kaya gini ga peka terhadap lawan bicaranya. tanda orang udah males ngedengerin kita biasanya, matanya jadi kemana2, gelisah, ah, kalo kita biasa ngomong sambil ngeliat mata lawan bicara, keliatan bgt mata bosennya. jadi kita mesti bicara yg efektif efisien, ama belajar peka
2.suka mengeluh --> kalo ini sih didikan rumah, sifat lahir, bukan teknik ini mah, ini kemampuan bersyukur.
3. memotong pembicaraan/mengiterupsi --> paling teknisnya, kalo mau motong bilang maaf, ato ga saat si pembicara narik nafas, dll
4.membicarakan diri sendiri--> sudah jelas, no further explanation.
5. membocorkan rahasia, bergunjing, ngegosip, membicarakan orang lain. --> ini sebenernya yang bikin gw bete, tapi yasudahlah, lebih baik gw mikirin gimana gw bisa ga bikin orang lain bete. period.
yang 2 terakhir udah obvious pisan lah ya. buat kita2 yang masih punya sifat/behaviour komunikasi kaya gini. yaaa, sadar diri dan berubahlah. seriously, ini memang menjengkelkan dan menyebalkan. but then again, this is not the listener's duty to remind us about this, they will not. they will try to listen to us. kenapa ga kita yang memudahkan mereka? haha. ngedengerin speakers yg kaya gini emg susah, tapi bukan berarti ga bisa. why dont we spend some minutes each day, review whats going on during the day, dan tentukan, kita orang yang semacam itu atau engga, kalo iya, please change, kalo masih, try harder.
mari sama2 belajar, semangat belajar, ga ada kata telat buat belajar! i just wanna make the world (my world, our world) a better place. may Allah forgives, gives us some mercy.
dulu gw pernah baca buku two ears and one mouth yang mostly membicarakan ttg aspek marketing. seperti semacam how to be a professional communicator, how to deal with consumers and so on.
but now, why am i bringing this up? karena this also can be applied in any kind of relationships, not only in business, but also in, for the very fundamental in life, friendship.
we have two ears, because a lot of people need a person only to listen to their probs, not to solve the probs, not to calm them down, moreover not to compare their probs with other people's. just to sit and listen, to actually appreciate the presence of the one who has the probs, to make them feel that anything they got, worth to be listened, to get attention.
we have one mouth, karena ini salah satu self's enemy. kalo jaman sekarang, your typing, which portrays your mouth is also your enemy, mesti HATI-HATI pisan. engga salah kalo di afs, the principle how to make friends salah satunya: think 1000 times, instead of 2 times before you say something. and consider whether it is true it is nice, it is necessary? kalo engga, we better shut up.
why do we have two ears? from my point of view, karena mendengarkan itu SULIT, bos. makanya Allah ngasih kita 2 tools, supaya memudahkan effort kita untuk mendengarkan. kenapa mulut cuma 1? karena ngomong doang itu gampang.
let me focus on these 2 topics, the mechanism of how to listen carefully, and kinds of bad speakers.
kenapa cuma 2? karena lately this affects me so much, irritates me frequently, karena sering, makanya gw introspeksi diri, apakah gw easily annoyed krn gwnya yang threshold get irritatednya rendah, apa lawan bicara/lawan dengar/you may call that friend, yang such a bad speaker/ listener?
whichever the way, semua manusia emang berhak dan wajib berubah menjadi sesuatu yang lebih baik. so, let me share this.
dari buku panduan sukses komunikasi profesional yg dibeli mama u/ nonon waktu dia blm dpt kerja (fyi only haha), apa saja aspek2 dalam mendengarkan aktif (dalam arti kata, omongan lawan bicara lo bukan sekedar masuk kuping kanan keluar kuping kiri)?
1. willingness to listen
banyak effort yang dibutuhkan untuk 'listening' daripada sekedar 'hearing'. listening itu butuh telinga untuk mendengarkan, butuh mata untuk membaca body language, butuh hati untuk berempati. untuk ketiganya bergerak bersamaan, ofcourse kita butuh KEMAUAN untuk actually listen. beda ama orang yang pura2 mendengarkan. haha, buat gw sih yang namanya pura2 ya ga jauh beda ama boong, mendingan kasih tau ke lawan bicara lo kalo lo males ngedengerin. lebih baik lagi, lo males ngedengerin, tapi lo ttp berusaha untuk mendengarkan dengan niat, kalo itu sih, better of we hope Allah ngasih berkah dari pengorbanan tersebut.
2. pay attention
pay attentionnya ke siapa? ya ke lawan bicara. mungkin sebagian dari kita mikir, 'yaiyalah ke lawan bicara! retoris bgt'.. kata siapa retoris? byk org yang matanya ke lawan bicaranya, tapi telinga dan hatinya ke diri sendiri, mulai dari self-mind chatting (misalnya malah mikirin diri sendiri, ato malah merhatiin bibir/hidung lawan bicara yang bagus/sebaliknya, who knows. hidung siapa? ea), sibuk mikirin hal2 lain (misal:mikir what;s next to do list di agenda -->ini guwah! shoot.) ah ini mah banyak, udah banyak, sering ketauan lagi. biasanya si pencurhat bakal nanya, "hello, are you listening?"
3. understand
kalo yang ini ttg nyamain persepsi. berat bos. we may be with some people for years, tp mungkin masih ada misunderstandingnya, nah ini mesti byk2 latian. kalo di buku ini sih ngomongin sekretaris ama bos, kalo ama temen, mungkin kaya seberapa lo nyambung ama si a, ama si b. belajar menginterpretasikan kata2nya, maksud apa dibalik kata2nya, and soon. apa yang lurus buat kita, mungkin diinterpretasikan miring oleh orang lain. whats fix this? frequency to actually understand what they wanted.
4. spend memory
gw rasa implementasinya di sebuah pertemanan mungkin seperti ini: orang sering bilang,"itu lhoo, masalah yang waktu itu gw ceritain pas kita makan di x." nah, sebenernya active listening itu will bring back the memories. ketika kita sering bilang,"apaan sih, gw lupa." then please do assess ourself, do we actually forgetful? or did we actually listen back then?
5. give response
kalo di buku sih intinya: 1)pastikan anda benar2 mengerti, jika tidak, respon anda berupa pertanyaan 2) blablabla 3)blablabla and so forth. kalo di pertemanan, kayanya cukup dengan tau kapan harus nyeletuk, kapan harus nyentuh tangan, kapan harus ngangguk, kapan harus bilang 'im sorry to hear that', kapan harus bilang 'i am so happy for you', kapan harus meluk. kadang one rub comforts loh. one smile boosts the mood so much.
and now..
orang macem kaya gimana yang disebut bad speaker?
1. membosankan --> bicaranya panjang, ga ada titik koma. lebih parah kalo orang kaya gini ga peka terhadap lawan bicaranya. tanda orang udah males ngedengerin kita biasanya, matanya jadi kemana2, gelisah, ah, kalo kita biasa ngomong sambil ngeliat mata lawan bicara, keliatan bgt mata bosennya. jadi kita mesti bicara yg efektif efisien, ama belajar peka
2.suka mengeluh --> kalo ini sih didikan rumah, sifat lahir, bukan teknik ini mah, ini kemampuan bersyukur.
3. memotong pembicaraan/mengiterupsi --> paling teknisnya, kalo mau motong bilang maaf, ato ga saat si pembicara narik nafas, dll
4.membicarakan diri sendiri--> sudah jelas, no further explanation.
5. membocorkan rahasia, bergunjing, ngegosip, membicarakan orang lain. --> ini sebenernya yang bikin gw bete, tapi yasudahlah, lebih baik gw mikirin gimana gw bisa ga bikin orang lain bete. period.
yang 2 terakhir udah obvious pisan lah ya. buat kita2 yang masih punya sifat/behaviour komunikasi kaya gini. yaaa, sadar diri dan berubahlah. seriously, ini memang menjengkelkan dan menyebalkan. but then again, this is not the listener's duty to remind us about this, they will not. they will try to listen to us. kenapa ga kita yang memudahkan mereka? haha. ngedengerin speakers yg kaya gini emg susah, tapi bukan berarti ga bisa. why dont we spend some minutes each day, review whats going on during the day, dan tentukan, kita orang yang semacam itu atau engga, kalo iya, please change, kalo masih, try harder.
mari sama2 belajar, semangat belajar, ga ada kata telat buat belajar! i just wanna make the world (my world, our world) a better place. may Allah forgives, gives us some mercy.
it starts with m.
jan 3, 2045 hrs
mungkin ini lebih kaya diary, ga seperti biasanya postingan gw yang terlalu abstrak, only for the sake of 'supaya orang ga ngerti maksud gw.' yah, postingan 4-5-6 kalimat yang banyak enternya, sok2an pake bhs inggris, emang sengaja gw bikin sedemikian rupa supaya one day, pas gw baca lagi postingan itu, gw inget, why i wrote that, the story behind it, without any readers knowing exactly what i mean. bad bad bad intention. terlihat puitis toh? haha.
first off, akhirnya january tanggal 3! artinya gw sudah melewati sooca :) walopun setelahnya, again, kasus2nya gw udah hafalin mati2an siang malem, ga melekat selekat tanggal 2. terima kasih ya Allah, akhirnya saya mengalami sooca saya yang terkahir di jatinangor. literally, 'ujian yang bikin repot' (plagiat bahasanya dokter yang mirip ubay, dokter siapa itu, dr. risba? dr.bakti? dr. basti. yap, basti kayanya) tinggal osce dan sidang, insyaAllah. aamiin. go 2008!
2nd off, gw melewati hari yang menyenangkan dengan nadhila dan fahrani, as usual.
been into a long quality time conversation sama nadhila selagi nungguin ujan sebelum ke jatos nonton mission impossible. isi tentang conversationnya seru, but at first, i really dont wanna put that as a story in this blog, because it is too private.
but in the end, i decided to pick a bit from the story and mix that with other stories.
awalnya gw ga mau post this the story up, tapi ini yang membuat gw pengen nulis. so, i opened up my facebook, and read one of my junior high's mate status update, she is married, and have 1 kid already. (if by chance this friend read this blog, i hope this only be one point of view for her, menjadi sesuatu yang membangun.) i dont wanna talk about her past, her changing process, and who she is now, only her status yang match up dengan hal yang mengkonsumsi banyak persentase waktu gw hari ini.
yes. its about living together with someoneelse. a marriage. some of my friends decided to get marry at their earliest chance, some will wait, some decided already not to get married, and on which category i am in? will wait. yep, so nice punya banyak teman yang argumen mengenai pernikahannya beragam dan somewhat surprising. tp sedikit nyeremin ketika i realized that in any category i am in right now, who knows future? mungkin tmn gw yang jelas2 ga mau menikah ini, end up living with somebodyelses without any formal relationship? atau yang planning to get married soon has her fate decided differently. this is why i love Allah plan this so mysteriously, because yes, when we looked back, we can laugh and cry over this. probably, again, who knows.
dulu mam pernah bilang, whatever happens what is bad from your husband, it is you duty to keep it confidential. and i read this:
this simply a portray of what she is not supposed to be doing. an immaturity. and this should not be over the counter report to anyone on facebook. and when i tried to put my foot on her shoes, still this is not an option on how you dwell with any problems, especially in a marriage, and about a husband. i dont want this happen in my future life.
life of a marriage itu, as far as i learned, is far from easy. simpel, mulai dari lo melihat tingkah laku orang, dan ternyata pas udah cerita2, i found out that it was her/his family turned this friend into this or that kind of human with pleasant or unpleasant characteristics, dan mulai berdoa semoga anak gw tidak menjadi yang seperti itu, atau semoga anak gw menjadi yang seperti itu, and start to think about how to educate the kids so the outcome will be this satisfying. kompleks.
about to find a husband. beberapa temen gw pernah nginep di kamar, dan banyak pelajaran dari hal itu. to actually understand that habits can ruin mood, then forceful effort needs to be launched to divert it into something constructing. that having someone to share and laughed together is on the other hand. semakin dipikir ya semakin melabirin. ga tau juga saat dijalaninnya gimana. this is why i dont like the idea of pacaran, people pretend most of the time to be fantastically in a good appearance and totally a different person after they got married. -_-" ngek, i dont want that happen to meeee.
and to handle that, readiness to encounter things like these is important. today, one of whats important is maturity. to actually understand that when u are married, your partner and yourself are one body, your partner's unpleasant habit is not yours to speak it out loud, vice versa. anything that comes from you is represent both.
panjang sih ceritanya. beneran panjang. tp gw mesti bljr phop n bhp untuk compre besok.
whatever best for me, my future husband, my family, his family.
*ini beneran bukan krn galau mau 23 ya. u will have this phase in ur life, for some who younger than me, and you have passed this already right, you who older than me.
mungkin ini lebih kaya diary, ga seperti biasanya postingan gw yang terlalu abstrak, only for the sake of 'supaya orang ga ngerti maksud gw.' yah, postingan 4-5-6 kalimat yang banyak enternya, sok2an pake bhs inggris, emang sengaja gw bikin sedemikian rupa supaya one day, pas gw baca lagi postingan itu, gw inget, why i wrote that, the story behind it, without any readers knowing exactly what i mean. bad bad bad intention. terlihat puitis toh? haha.
first off, akhirnya january tanggal 3! artinya gw sudah melewati sooca :) walopun setelahnya, again, kasus2nya gw udah hafalin mati2an siang malem, ga melekat selekat tanggal 2. terima kasih ya Allah, akhirnya saya mengalami sooca saya yang terkahir di jatinangor. literally, 'ujian yang bikin repot' (plagiat bahasanya dokter yang mirip ubay, dokter siapa itu, dr. risba? dr.bakti? dr. basti. yap, basti kayanya) tinggal osce dan sidang, insyaAllah. aamiin. go 2008!
2nd off, gw melewati hari yang menyenangkan dengan nadhila dan fahrani, as usual.
been into a long quality time conversation sama nadhila selagi nungguin ujan sebelum ke jatos nonton mission impossible. isi tentang conversationnya seru, but at first, i really dont wanna put that as a story in this blog, because it is too private.
but in the end, i decided to pick a bit from the story and mix that with other stories.
awalnya gw ga mau post this the story up, tapi ini yang membuat gw pengen nulis. so, i opened up my facebook, and read one of my junior high's mate status update, she is married, and have 1 kid already. (if by chance this friend read this blog, i hope this only be one point of view for her, menjadi sesuatu yang membangun.) i dont wanna talk about her past, her changing process, and who she is now, only her status yang match up dengan hal yang mengkonsumsi banyak persentase waktu gw hari ini.
yes. its about living together with someoneelse. a marriage. some of my friends decided to get marry at their earliest chance, some will wait, some decided already not to get married, and on which category i am in? will wait. yep, so nice punya banyak teman yang argumen mengenai pernikahannya beragam dan somewhat surprising. tp sedikit nyeremin ketika i realized that in any category i am in right now, who knows future? mungkin tmn gw yang jelas2 ga mau menikah ini, end up living with somebodyelses without any formal relationship? atau yang planning to get married soon has her fate decided differently. this is why i love Allah plan this so mysteriously, because yes, when we looked back, we can laugh and cry over this. probably, again, who knows.
dulu mam pernah bilang, whatever happens what is bad from your husband, it is you duty to keep it confidential. and i read this:
"It IS a problem when your husband has a problem with your baby's poo.. Sigh.."
life of a marriage itu, as far as i learned, is far from easy. simpel, mulai dari lo melihat tingkah laku orang, dan ternyata pas udah cerita2, i found out that it was her/his family turned this friend into this or that kind of human with pleasant or unpleasant characteristics, dan mulai berdoa semoga anak gw tidak menjadi yang seperti itu, atau semoga anak gw menjadi yang seperti itu, and start to think about how to educate the kids so the outcome will be this satisfying. kompleks.
about to find a husband. beberapa temen gw pernah nginep di kamar, dan banyak pelajaran dari hal itu. to actually understand that habits can ruin mood, then forceful effort needs to be launched to divert it into something constructing. that having someone to share and laughed together is on the other hand. semakin dipikir ya semakin melabirin. ga tau juga saat dijalaninnya gimana. this is why i dont like the idea of pacaran, people pretend most of the time to be fantastically in a good appearance and totally a different person after they got married. -_-" ngek, i dont want that happen to meeee.
and to handle that, readiness to encounter things like these is important. today, one of whats important is maturity. to actually understand that when u are married, your partner and yourself are one body, your partner's unpleasant habit is not yours to speak it out loud, vice versa. anything that comes from you is represent both.
panjang sih ceritanya. beneran panjang. tp gw mesti bljr phop n bhp untuk compre besok.
whatever best for me, my future husband, my family, his family.
*ini beneran bukan krn galau mau 23 ya. u will have this phase in ur life, for some who younger than me, and you have passed this already right, you who older than me.
togetherness.
jan 2, 2012.
postingan pertama di 2012~ !
new year's eve, and actually the 1st day of january dihabiskan bersama kertas2 dan puti yang lagi nginep di kamar.
dan the story goes by. dadada
and adhika said that the closer we get to somebody, the bigger chances for us less care about the unmatched habits between us, and love them anyway.
if i may add:
the closer we get, the more we pay attention to their little things,
the more easily we get annoys, but the faster we forgive
the more we understand that silence is none of awkwardness
the more we can guess whats they're going to do next without literally telling us
me love my friends, thank you for cheering my 2011.
selamat menjalani 2012, herdinda and anyone yg baca blog gw :)
postingan pertama di 2012~ !
new year's eve, and actually the 1st day of january dihabiskan bersama kertas2 dan puti yang lagi nginep di kamar.
dan the story goes by. dadada
and adhika said that the closer we get to somebody, the bigger chances for us less care about the unmatched habits between us, and love them anyway.
if i may add:
the closer we get, the more we pay attention to their little things,
the more easily we get annoys, but the faster we forgive
the more we understand that silence is none of awkwardness
the more we can guess whats they're going to do next without literally telling us
me love my friends, thank you for cheering my 2011.
selamat menjalani 2012, herdinda and anyone yg baca blog gw :)
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