ini benar,

oct 15, 0703


hehe. ngeposting blog memang SO RELIEVING. walopun kadang suka mempredikatkan ini sebagai guilty pleasure. just a reminder, setelah ini, harus ngeberesin 40 soal MDE, beresin questionnaire u/ skripsi, dll yang tenang saja, sudah ditulis di agenda. oia, termasuk kumpul tim pansus u/ menuntaskan asysyifaa 2011. dangit, susah bgt nyusun jadwal lately.

gw ga ngerti lagi, tampaknya fulki akan benar2 membuatkan gw: JADWAL UNTUK CONNECT TO INTERNET. gw belum bikin, fulk. in case you read this post, i am sure you will eventually. big hugs.

actually, ini semua karena gw baca blognya teh mooi, which i 'ADORE', blod, capitalized, italic, underlined adore her experiences.

beliau seakan ga pernah berhenti mmm what.. bersinar? yes, yes, thats the word, in indonesian. sebenernya gw prefer 'shining.' tadinya gw mau milih kata, mengkilat. -__-" btw, yeah yeah, this person, is so much like kak titis. dulu, titis ini kakak afs gw di sma. once i got to know her, gw bilang, i wanna be like her! dan there was me, be like her in my own way. (menurut gw sih gitu, karena finally gw mendapatkan what changed her life, what also changed me, afs!)

pertama kali gw ketemu teh mooi, gw tidak bilang,"i wanna be like her," tapi "she is a lot like me." ofcourse, itu tahun pertama, whats on earth i know anything about her. gw cuma semacam dikenalkan ama kang ajay ke teh mooi, when kang ajay discovered gw anak afs, ofcourse kronologisnya sama, kenapa bisa telat setaun blablabla. dan sekarang, ngeekk the mooi like is different in every level. EVERY level. she has this straight lifestyle, all those achievements, wow. ofcourse we had some similarities, but it doesnt make me feel ' a lot like her' anymore. hahaha. this posting is somewhat hilariously about self-pity. lalal, forget that.

yes, we're passed afs selection, living a year somewhere, got accepted di fkup, our parents was graduated in the same major, we were in hnmun, we dropped hnmun, our brothers are awesome, mine like president cimsa, his was like about to be president bem ( a lot awesome-er if you dont drop that ketua angkatan thing, in case you read this posting, tan, i know you will eventually),  but then, she went up with mahasiswa berprestasi unpad, ikut gunma, ikut ini itu yang membuat beliau keliling dunia, berprestasi, pious, studious, and all othe good adjectives. dan me? mm, alhamdulillah, sempet ke beberapa tempat after afs, tapi dibayarin mama papa. lalala. still, whats important was the visas. -___-" mm, ga juga sih, i suddenly feel so low. with all minor thesis procrastination, no longer mopped my room regularly, still dont know how to live, et cetera et cetera.

THATS whats not good in comparing your life with others. it may end up, you feel crappy. because we had no idea what they have been through. she might not have time updating her blog, and me, i am happy i can update this blog as often as i can. yay! and probably thats not her happy indicators juga sih.

but yeah, still, there are no point in comparing others life with yours. gw ga ngerti kenapa gw nulis ini. but this will not be a draft. i gotta post this. so, people who read this post, DONT COMPARE YOUR LIFE WITH OTHERS!

so, back to the topic, i actually wanna be like her, with all those achievements, siapa sih yang engga. you know what comes next after achievements? responsibility. to be always a good person. i feel bad gw tidak se-shining pas jaman gw sma. kalo boleh bilang, after got accepted in med school, my peak is declining. no more obsessions, no passions, all i gotta do is becoming a doctor. i have this 100-things-i-wanna-do-in-life list, and that waaaayyyy looks like impossible. because i wanna be doctor, you know. i wanna be a wife with kids. thats kinda...tightening the schedule. unless i can prove it wrong.

about proving, or some people used to say it as self-actualization was crazy. yesterday, a friend of mine, im sure she will not read this blog, yet im not sure i can put up her name in this post, said to me that her self-actualization to say out loud to the world that she can is by finishing soal MDE yang udah dijatahin ke kita2 way before deadlines. *slap me. what about this self-actualization people??

this is why i dont compare my life with others. i am more likely end up in guilt and disappointment. as long as i can check my to-do list on my agenda and that 100 things thing, i think i am fine.

so, thats the other side of me. you dont wanna know about this 100 things thing, astri was laughed when seeing #62. i am afraid of the certainty of reality of #100 and tired of waiting for #60 to happen, and from those, i highlighted #36! even though is only like one accomplished and one in progress, i am glad, becuase everything start in #1. :) :) :)

thanks God, i can post this on my blog. hope this is not embarrassing. no. i am sure this is not embarrassing. well, its kinda is. but this is my blog (with 3 exclamation marks!!!)

buy thy wei, harus baca postingan teh mooi ttg afs itu. karena similarities go on and on, and gone one and on: 1) mama papa juga dulu ga bisa bilang engga untuk mengizinkan gw jalan karena: bonyok ga tau gw daftar afs s.d gw lulus dan siap berangkat. lalala. kinda put them in fait accompli situation. 2) last time i saw my grandme, she left me on my dad;s birthday in a peaceful sleep. 3) then. hell yeah, that was the most enthuasiastic thing i have ever been into.

again, thanks to You, Allah. :D