provides the key,
unlocks the hearts and souls of you and me.
in the stone : earth, wind, and fire
(bagus deh musiknya)
it is an absolute principle, that in the end we find out that God has enigmatic script written down.
if we dont know what will be going on tomorrow? then why live today in fear?
saya cuma mau menyelesaikan chapter kehidupan saya di fakultas kedokteran. masih banyak chapter untuk mimpi2 lain yang menunggu to be leafed through.
saya lebih menikmati chapter2 pendek dengan sparkles yang lebih banyak.
oct 27. 2244hrs
belajar menjauh dari apa2 yang dekat.
karena ada titik dimana tidak ada pilihan untuk kembali. ke yang 'pernah' dekat.
pun ketika kembali, semuanya pasti berbeda.
kalau dulu pernah menjadi yang signifikan, mungkin sekarang hanya bagian dari sebuah 'nostalgia' yang sembunyi di pinggir kesibukan sinaps yang kesemrawutannya menghilangkan chemistry cerita masa lalu.
bahasanya: udah ga satu frekuensi lagi.
between then and now:
-kutipan 5 tahun lalu
"walau ke ujung dunia, pasti akan ku tunggu"
"hidup ini hanya kepingan yang terasing di lautan"
"dirimu mewakili sebuah keluasan"
-witing trisno jalaran soko kulino
-a lot can happen in a year. a lot. termasuk idealisme yang memudar.
belajar menjauh dari apa2 yang dekat.
karena ada titik dimana tidak ada pilihan untuk kembali. ke yang 'pernah' dekat.
pun ketika kembali, semuanya pasti berbeda.
kalau dulu pernah menjadi yang signifikan, mungkin sekarang hanya bagian dari sebuah 'nostalgia' yang sembunyi di pinggir kesibukan sinaps yang kesemrawutannya menghilangkan chemistry cerita masa lalu.
bahasanya: udah ga satu frekuensi lagi.
between then and now:
-kutipan 5 tahun lalu
"walau ke ujung dunia, pasti akan ku tunggu"
"hidup ini hanya kepingan yang terasing di lautan"
"dirimu mewakili sebuah keluasan"
-witing trisno jalaran soko kulino
-a lot can happen in a year. a lot. termasuk idealisme yang memudar.
ser libre.
0311 am.
kenapa kadang gw lupa kalo hidup ini cuma sekali?
#when changing coffee brand is a major effort, to be free is out of the dictionary.
kenapa kadang gw lupa kalo hidup ini cuma sekali?
#when changing coffee brand is a major effort, to be free is out of the dictionary.
 |
khawatir resah ini sebuah ketidakmampuan bersyukur. naudzubillah. |
dance!
oct 22, 2011. 1337 hrs
once i read a quote: "dream more while you are awake."
and back then i was myself sitting di ruang lab, had a lil chichat with one of my friend who rather had less emotion and expression. cool and calm, yet awkwardness wasnt that hard to be eliminated.
(do not do this at ruang lab, we supposed to sit and listen to the teacher. but im sorry, at the time, i couldnt help it. it was noon and boring. its better to have a lil chat about future rather than sleeping. because i manage to dream more while i am awake :))
having a dream is somewhat keeping the life alive. yet, the probability of heartbreaking cannot be ignored. that is when we got to heartbreaking, we start to dream again. success once told to be: falls ninety nine times and stand back up for the hundredth times.
this friend i had been chat with, despite of the, you know, constant expression, have dreams after freshly graduate. 3 things this friend mentioned, and none of them i ever thought these are what this kid wanted to do. see? how many thing on earth we can do. cruising the carribean sea, cooking in a high-five-star hotel, skydiving, be in an orchestra, learn and teach from and to the nature, mount-climbing, play violin, dancing, study russian language, anything.
me, i wanna do something and be in a dark big auditorium, big headlights had been set all for you. in a auditorium, we can dance, sing, do improvs, as free as we want, like no one watching. because we wont be bothered by hundreds of eyes which sits in the dark. all we can see is us, the headlines. ofcourse because of the lights are only spotted to the whoever is on the stage.
i like the sound of people clapping and yelling out our names. (oh yeah, ive been in that, ive been in that) it felt so relieving, tiring but like with longlasting gladness.
its like the time is seized for you.
like the time stopped, only so you could live the moment.
once i read a quote: "dream more while you are awake."
and back then i was myself sitting di ruang lab, had a lil chichat with one of my friend who rather had less emotion and expression. cool and calm, yet awkwardness wasnt that hard to be eliminated.
(do not do this at ruang lab, we supposed to sit and listen to the teacher. but im sorry, at the time, i couldnt help it. it was noon and boring. its better to have a lil chat about future rather than sleeping. because i manage to dream more while i am awake :))
having a dream is somewhat keeping the life alive. yet, the probability of heartbreaking cannot be ignored. that is when we got to heartbreaking, we start to dream again. success once told to be: falls ninety nine times and stand back up for the hundredth times.
this friend i had been chat with, despite of the, you know, constant expression, have dreams after freshly graduate. 3 things this friend mentioned, and none of them i ever thought these are what this kid wanted to do. see? how many thing on earth we can do. cruising the carribean sea, cooking in a high-five-star hotel, skydiving, be in an orchestra, learn and teach from and to the nature, mount-climbing, play violin, dancing, study russian language, anything.
me, i wanna do something and be in a dark big auditorium, big headlights had been set all for you. in a auditorium, we can dance, sing, do improvs, as free as we want, like no one watching. because we wont be bothered by hundreds of eyes which sits in the dark. all we can see is us, the headlines. ofcourse because of the lights are only spotted to the whoever is on the stage.
i like the sound of people clapping and yelling out our names. (oh yeah, ive been in that, ive been in that) it felt so relieving, tiring but like with longlasting gladness.
its like the time is seized for you.
like the time stopped, only so you could live the moment.
nilai diri..
oct 19, 1931 hrs
abis baca artikel personal power di gatra. yang intinya, besar kecilnya nilai diri seseorang dilihat dari peran yang dia jalani, tanggung jawab yang dia penuhi, dan karya yang dia berikan kepada sekitarnya. kelak akan didapat predikat sebagai pemimpin yang disegani, sebagai seorang yang profesional yang dihargai, orang tua yang dihormati dan disayangi, dan sebagai individu yang menarik.
abis baca artikel personal power di gatra. yang intinya, besar kecilnya nilai diri seseorang dilihat dari peran yang dia jalani, tanggung jawab yang dia penuhi, dan karya yang dia berikan kepada sekitarnya. kelak akan didapat predikat sebagai pemimpin yang disegani, sebagai seorang yang profesional yang dihargai, orang tua yang dihormati dan disayangi, dan sebagai individu yang menarik.
to dear Who Makes Plans, thank you :)
oct 17, 1957 hrs
hidup itu ga selamanya seimbang. tahun kedua, i dont know how i managed my life back then. yang gw tau, belajar agama gw lancar, olahraga gw lancar, kamar gw rapi, and all those perfections i've been dreaming to take back nowadays.
sekarang, hehe, tampaknya i took too many things too seriously. sampe kadang cape sendiri. its definitely okay with me. i am sure every problems will end eventually. God will help anyway.
this morning, i was sitting next to ligai. i was exhausted. the real exhaustion i have never felt since.... jaman kuda gigit besi.
i yelled, "gw capeeeee." ligai with her motherly attitude put her arms around me and told me, "belum ngerasain ngerjain LI, skripsi, sekaligus ngurus anak kan?"
slapped.
*oia, this is why i believe truly that God plotted life beautifully.
- i put a picture of air-balloon on my ym picture. days after i put it up, i actually be in that!
- 2, 3 hari lalu gw nulis enjoy means: "seeing a person who actually sits, plays the guitar and sings me a song which i can sing with." dan kemarin pas foto batchbook, akhirnya ada scene dimana manu duduk dan pura2 main gitar, dan gw n iwith seakan2 menikmati lagu yang dimainin manu. manu actually sat, pretended to play guitar, and he blabbered instead of sang a song. jadi yaaaa pretty much a joy! haha, kapan lagi ngeliat manu ga bermuka datar.
- dan gw nyebur ke sawah. untung ga ada yang liat. well, uun sih ngeliat kronologis jatohnya gimana (dia melihat dengan jarak semacam 20 langkah dari gw) dan suyi yang hanya berjarak 5 langkah di depan gw cuma bilang,"maaf din, saya ketawa dulu ya, baru nolongin kamu" -_____-" what a man. tapi, haha, yang penting enjoy :) seriously, gw seneng kemarin.
makasih dear Who Makes Perfect Plans :)
thanks for putting ligai sat next to me and nice bright sunshine on my batchbook photoshoot's day without any tanning left on my skin.
ini benar,
oct 15, 0703
hehe. ngeposting blog memang SO RELIEVING. walopun kadang suka mempredikatkan ini sebagai guilty pleasure. just a reminder, setelah ini, harus ngeberesin 40 soal MDE, beresin questionnaire u/ skripsi, dll yang tenang saja, sudah ditulis di agenda. oia, termasuk kumpul tim pansus u/ menuntaskan asysyifaa 2011. dangit, susah bgt nyusun jadwal lately.
gw ga ngerti lagi, tampaknya fulki akan benar2 membuatkan gw: JADWAL UNTUK CONNECT TO INTERNET. gw belum bikin, fulk. in case you read this post, i am sure you will eventually. big hugs.
actually, ini semua karena gw baca blognya teh mooi, which i 'ADORE', blod, capitalized, italic, underlined adore her experiences.
beliau seakan ga pernah berhenti mmm what.. bersinar? yes, yes, thats the word, in indonesian. sebenernya gw prefer 'shining.' tadinya gw mau milih kata, mengkilat. -__-" btw, yeah yeah, this person, is so much like kak titis. dulu, titis ini kakak afs gw di sma. once i got to know her, gw bilang, i wanna be like her! dan there was me, be like her in my own way. (menurut gw sih gitu, karena finally gw mendapatkan what changed her life, what also changed me, afs!)
pertama kali gw ketemu teh mooi, gw tidak bilang,"i wanna be like her," tapi "she is a lot like me." ofcourse, itu tahun pertama, whats on earth i know anything about her. gw cuma semacam dikenalkan ama kang ajay ke teh mooi, when kang ajay discovered gw anak afs, ofcourse kronologisnya sama, kenapa bisa telat setaun blablabla. dan sekarang, ngeekk the mooi like is different in every level. EVERY level. she has this straight lifestyle, all those achievements, wow. ofcourse we had some similarities, but it doesnt make me feel ' a lot like her' anymore. hahaha. this posting is somewhat hilariously about self-pity. lalal, forget that.
yes, we're passed afs selection, living a year somewhere, got accepted di fkup, our parents was graduated in the same major, we were in hnmun, we dropped hnmun, our brothers are awesome, mine like president cimsa, his was like about to be president bem ( a lot awesome-er if you dont drop that ketua angkatan thing, in case you read this posting, tan, i know you will eventually), but then, she went up with mahasiswa berprestasi unpad, ikut gunma, ikut ini itu yang membuat beliau keliling dunia, berprestasi, pious, studious, and all othe good adjectives. dan me? mm, alhamdulillah, sempet ke beberapa tempat after afs, tapi dibayarin mama papa. lalala. still, whats important was the visas. -___-" mm, ga juga sih, i suddenly feel so low. with all minor thesis procrastination, no longer mopped my room regularly, still dont know how to live, et cetera et cetera.
THATS whats not good in comparing your life with others. it may end up, you feel crappy. because we had no idea what they have been through. she might not have time updating her blog, and me, i am happy i can update this blog as often as i can. yay! and probably thats not her happy indicators juga sih.
but yeah, still, there are no point in comparing others life with yours. gw ga ngerti kenapa gw nulis ini. but this will not be a draft. i gotta post this. so, people who read this post, DONT COMPARE YOUR LIFE WITH OTHERS!
so, back to the topic, i actually wanna be like her, with all those achievements, siapa sih yang engga. you know what comes next after achievements? responsibility. to be always a good person. i feel bad gw tidak se-shining pas jaman gw sma. kalo boleh bilang, after got accepted in med school, my peak is declining. no more obsessions, no passions, all i gotta do is becoming a doctor. i have this 100-things-i-wanna-do-in-life list, and that waaaayyyy looks like impossible. because i wanna be doctor, you know. i wanna be a wife with kids. thats kinda...tightening the schedule. unless i can prove it wrong.
about proving, or some people used to say it as self-actualization was crazy. yesterday, a friend of mine, im sure she will not read this blog, yet im not sure i can put up her name in this post, said to me that her self-actualization to say out loud to the world that she can is by finishing soal MDE yang udah dijatahin ke kita2 way before deadlines. *slap me. what about this self-actualization people??
this is why i dont compare my life with others. i am more likely end up in guilt and disappointment. as long as i can check my to-do list on my agenda and that 100 things thing, i think i am fine.
so, thats the other side of me. you dont wanna know about this 100 things thing, astri was laughed when seeing #62. i am afraid of the certainty of reality of #100 and tired of waiting for #60 to happen, and from those, i highlighted #36! even though is only like one accomplished and one in progress, i am glad, becuase everything start in #1. :) :) :)
thanks God, i can post this on my blog. hope this is not embarrassing. no. i am sure this is not embarrassing. well, its kinda is. but this is my blog (with 3 exclamation marks!!!)
buy thy wei, harus baca postingan teh mooi ttg afs itu. karena similarities go on and on, and gone one and on: 1) mama papa juga dulu ga bisa bilang engga untuk mengizinkan gw jalan karena: bonyok ga tau gw daftar afs s.d gw lulus dan siap berangkat. lalala. kinda put them in fait accompli situation. 2) last time i saw my grandme, she left me on my dad;s birthday in a peaceful sleep. 3) then. hell yeah, that was the most enthuasiastic thing i have ever been into.
again, thanks to You, Allah. :D
hehe. ngeposting blog memang SO RELIEVING. walopun kadang suka mempredikatkan ini sebagai guilty pleasure. just a reminder, setelah ini, harus ngeberesin 40 soal MDE, beresin questionnaire u/ skripsi, dll yang tenang saja, sudah ditulis di agenda. oia, termasuk kumpul tim pansus u/ menuntaskan asysyifaa 2011. dangit, susah bgt nyusun jadwal lately.
gw ga ngerti lagi, tampaknya fulki akan benar2 membuatkan gw: JADWAL UNTUK CONNECT TO INTERNET. gw belum bikin, fulk. in case you read this post, i am sure you will eventually. big hugs.
actually, ini semua karena gw baca blognya teh mooi, which i 'ADORE', blod, capitalized, italic, underlined adore her experiences.
beliau seakan ga pernah berhenti mmm what.. bersinar? yes, yes, thats the word, in indonesian. sebenernya gw prefer 'shining.' tadinya gw mau milih kata, mengkilat. -__-" btw, yeah yeah, this person, is so much like kak titis. dulu, titis ini kakak afs gw di sma. once i got to know her, gw bilang, i wanna be like her! dan there was me, be like her in my own way. (menurut gw sih gitu, karena finally gw mendapatkan what changed her life, what also changed me, afs!)
pertama kali gw ketemu teh mooi, gw tidak bilang,"i wanna be like her," tapi "she is a lot like me." ofcourse, itu tahun pertama, whats on earth i know anything about her. gw cuma semacam dikenalkan ama kang ajay ke teh mooi, when kang ajay discovered gw anak afs, ofcourse kronologisnya sama, kenapa bisa telat setaun blablabla. dan sekarang, ngeekk the mooi like is different in every level. EVERY level. she has this straight lifestyle, all those achievements, wow. ofcourse we had some similarities, but it doesnt make me feel ' a lot like her' anymore. hahaha. this posting is somewhat hilariously about self-pity. lalal, forget that.
yes, we're passed afs selection, living a year somewhere, got accepted di fkup, our parents was graduated in the same major, we were in hnmun, we dropped hnmun, our brothers are awesome, mine like president cimsa, his was like about to be president bem ( a lot awesome-er if you dont drop that ketua angkatan thing, in case you read this posting, tan, i know you will eventually), but then, she went up with mahasiswa berprestasi unpad, ikut gunma, ikut ini itu yang membuat beliau keliling dunia, berprestasi, pious, studious, and all othe good adjectives. dan me? mm, alhamdulillah, sempet ke beberapa tempat after afs, tapi dibayarin mama papa. lalala. still, whats important was the visas. -___-" mm, ga juga sih, i suddenly feel so low. with all minor thesis procrastination, no longer mopped my room regularly, still dont know how to live, et cetera et cetera.
THATS whats not good in comparing your life with others. it may end up, you feel crappy. because we had no idea what they have been through. she might not have time updating her blog, and me, i am happy i can update this blog as often as i can. yay! and probably thats not her happy indicators juga sih.
but yeah, still, there are no point in comparing others life with yours. gw ga ngerti kenapa gw nulis ini. but this will not be a draft. i gotta post this. so, people who read this post, DONT COMPARE YOUR LIFE WITH OTHERS!
so, back to the topic, i actually wanna be like her, with all those achievements, siapa sih yang engga. you know what comes next after achievements? responsibility. to be always a good person. i feel bad gw tidak se-shining pas jaman gw sma. kalo boleh bilang, after got accepted in med school, my peak is declining. no more obsessions, no passions, all i gotta do is becoming a doctor. i have this 100-things-i-wanna-do-in-life list, and that waaaayyyy looks like impossible. because i wanna be doctor, you know. i wanna be a wife with kids. thats kinda...tightening the schedule. unless i can prove it wrong.
about proving, or some people used to say it as self-actualization was crazy. yesterday, a friend of mine, im sure she will not read this blog, yet im not sure i can put up her name in this post, said to me that her self-actualization to say out loud to the world that she can is by finishing soal MDE yang udah dijatahin ke kita2 way before deadlines. *slap me. what about this self-actualization people??
this is why i dont compare my life with others. i am more likely end up in guilt and disappointment. as long as i can check my to-do list on my agenda and that 100 things thing, i think i am fine.
so, thats the other side of me. you dont wanna know about this 100 things thing, astri was laughed when seeing #62. i am afraid of the certainty of reality of #100 and tired of waiting for #60 to happen, and from those, i highlighted #36! even though is only like one accomplished and one in progress, i am glad, becuase everything start in #1. :) :) :)
thanks God, i can post this on my blog. hope this is not embarrassing. no. i am sure this is not embarrassing. well, its kinda is. but this is my blog (with 3 exclamation marks!!!)
buy thy wei, harus baca postingan teh mooi ttg afs itu. karena similarities go on and on, and gone one and on: 1) mama papa juga dulu ga bisa bilang engga untuk mengizinkan gw jalan karena: bonyok ga tau gw daftar afs s.d gw lulus dan siap berangkat. lalala. kinda put them in fait accompli situation. 2) last time i saw my grandme, she left me on my dad;s birthday in a peaceful sleep. 3) then. hell yeah, that was the most enthuasiastic thing i have ever been into.
again, thanks to You, Allah. :D
en-joy.
oct 15, 0510 hrs
gw bukannya sering melupakan syukur. gw hanya lupa apa2 yang gw nikmati, ato lebih tepatnya, i dont know how to 'enjoy.'
:) senyum miris
apa yang ada di pikiran gw pada saat kata enjoy muncul?
belajar nembak. i always wanna hold a gun, use it. its okay if it is only color gun, or laser tag kinda thing
coffee break in downtown portland, ofcourse sama hye yoon, it was just perfect
seeing a person who actually sits, plays the guitar, and sings me a song which i cant sing with.
sleep after bronchodilator pills
in a beautifully landed plane. knowing that Allah keep you alive.
see, i know life can be enjoyed fully! i just forget how.
Dear God, thank you for waking me up right in the time for subuh, after i slept through my nice sleep after one theophylline.
i was dreaming about shoes.
:) totally bukan senyum miris. who can tell the different?
gw bukannya sering melupakan syukur. gw hanya lupa apa2 yang gw nikmati, ato lebih tepatnya, i dont know how to 'enjoy.'
:) senyum miris
apa yang ada di pikiran gw pada saat kata enjoy muncul?
belajar nembak. i always wanna hold a gun, use it. its okay if it is only color gun, or laser tag kinda thing
coffee break in downtown portland, ofcourse sama hye yoon, it was just perfect
seeing a person who actually sits, plays the guitar, and sings me a song which i cant sing with.
sleep after bronchodilator pills
in a beautifully landed plane. knowing that Allah keep you alive.
see, i know life can be enjoyed fully! i just forget how.
Dear God, thank you for waking me up right in the time for subuh, after i slept through my nice sleep after one theophylline.
i was dreaming about shoes.
:) totally bukan senyum miris. who can tell the different?
tempat kembali.
seconds before october 14 knocks.
pergi kalian keliling dunia, cari apa yang kamu butuhkan. kembalilah kamu ke negerimu untuk mendapatkannya.
ketika keasingan mengeksploitasi prinsip diri, rumahlah yang mengingatkan siapa sebenarnya kita.
liarlah. dengan begitu, kita bisa menemukan apa yang disebut damai.
lari jauh-jauh, karena jarak akan melepas kebutaan dari apa yang selama ini dekat.
saat menjadi hanya serpih yang mewakili sebuah keluasan, kamu tidak bisa hidup tanpa identitas.
bagaimanapun semua yang pergi akan kembali.
distance makes the heart grows fonder - mrs. dawson
pergi kalian keliling dunia, cari apa yang kamu butuhkan. kembalilah kamu ke negerimu untuk mendapatkannya.
ketika keasingan mengeksploitasi prinsip diri, rumahlah yang mengingatkan siapa sebenarnya kita.
liarlah. dengan begitu, kita bisa menemukan apa yang disebut damai.
lari jauh-jauh, karena jarak akan melepas kebutaan dari apa yang selama ini dekat.
saat menjadi hanya serpih yang mewakili sebuah keluasan, kamu tidak bisa hidup tanpa identitas.
bagaimanapun semua yang pergi akan kembali.
distance makes the heart grows fonder - mrs. dawson
contradiction.
oct 13, 2303 hrs
dulu ada pertanyaan : bersedia ga ngurusin angkatan seumur hidup?
ada yang jawab....ini, ina, itu : iya, engga, kumaha engke. thank God, future is always be mystery.
melihat momen akhir2 ini, i think its funny how past and future flips in a wink and contradicts.
* mau cc ke tanri dan rahmi.
* nerusin LI, caffeine saved my renal review.
dulu ada pertanyaan : bersedia ga ngurusin angkatan seumur hidup?
ada yang jawab....ini, ina, itu : iya, engga, kumaha engke. thank God, future is always be mystery.
melihat momen akhir2 ini, i think its funny how past and future flips in a wink and contradicts.
* mau cc ke tanri dan rahmi.
* nerusin LI, caffeine saved my renal review.
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