cinta itu sesuatu yang tumbuh hilang.
makany harus punya satu visi bareng.
- kata aya. persis
tertawa dan menangis, menangis dan tertawa
20.26
dear darkness and mother of envy and jealousy,
thank you for giving me such a precious attention. You were succesfully making me feel profoundly pathetic. I was drowning in great radiation of blur and inconsistency. the worst, make me feel 'incapable.'
dear evil of hatred,
i thank you. the dusts of fear, hate, and anger you have sent me, those spotted this heart. i have been trying to formulate my own world full of stories of romeos and juliets. the manipulations you create, i envy you. i admit, neither one romeo nor a juliet exist in this earth. but, i have not seen a piece of heaven. heaven knows whats in it.
dear Boss of the angels,
thank You for introducing me to the darkness, to the mother of envy, and jealosy, to the evil who hates. thank You for handing me the spectacles. the specs to see those hells as warnings. to act none like the way the darkness behaves. to appreciate life and live vigorously without envy and jealousy. and to ignore hatred.
dear Boss of the universe,
thank You for telling me that my life isnt long. that fact commands me to stop fighting and to stop running away from those bad things You have introduced me. that fact commands me to live with them without being alike.
dear problems,
i am sorry i ignore you. you can follow every little move i made. you can pretend to be anything in order to me giving you an eye. i am sorry, you just dont deserve to be a friend of mine. yet, you can live with me. let us see who's stronger.
Dear Allah,
i know, You wont leave me. therefore, I will live your happy-ending mistery. You are the Director.
----in times ketika gw merasa dokter2 CRP mengeluarkan soal2 yang belum pernah diajarin. disaat ngerasa sebanyak 3 semester gw dizalimi oleh soal2 CRP. semoga jawaban C yang berbaris membawa hasil yang ....... ga taulah. semoga ujian ini cuma intermezzo yang akan fade away. dan ketemu hal yang beautifully unusual.
dear darkness and mother of envy and jealousy,
thank you for giving me such a precious attention. You were succesfully making me feel profoundly pathetic. I was drowning in great radiation of blur and inconsistency. the worst, make me feel 'incapable.'
dear evil of hatred,
i thank you. the dusts of fear, hate, and anger you have sent me, those spotted this heart. i have been trying to formulate my own world full of stories of romeos and juliets. the manipulations you create, i envy you. i admit, neither one romeo nor a juliet exist in this earth. but, i have not seen a piece of heaven. heaven knows whats in it.
dear Boss of the angels,
thank You for introducing me to the darkness, to the mother of envy, and jealosy, to the evil who hates. thank You for handing me the spectacles. the specs to see those hells as warnings. to act none like the way the darkness behaves. to appreciate life and live vigorously without envy and jealousy. and to ignore hatred.
dear Boss of the universe,
thank You for telling me that my life isnt long. that fact commands me to stop fighting and to stop running away from those bad things You have introduced me. that fact commands me to live with them without being alike.
dear problems,
i am sorry i ignore you. you can follow every little move i made. you can pretend to be anything in order to me giving you an eye. i am sorry, you just dont deserve to be a friend of mine. yet, you can live with me. let us see who's stronger.
Dear Allah,
i know, You wont leave me. therefore, I will live your happy-ending mistery. You are the Director.
----in times ketika gw merasa dokter2 CRP mengeluarkan soal2 yang belum pernah diajarin. disaat ngerasa sebanyak 3 semester gw dizalimi oleh soal2 CRP. semoga jawaban C yang berbaris membawa hasil yang ....... ga taulah. semoga ujian ini cuma intermezzo yang akan fade away. dan ketemu hal yang beautifully unusual.
God doesnt give answers.
14 nov 09. 20.25
He gives choices. in the end, those choices will be the available lifepaths we can take. whether it'd be the best, it depends on how we perceived the decision we have made.
i have this 'idiom' from my friend's learning issue, referred to her psychiatry book. the research stated the idiom 'useless assumption' as getting freaked out by things that MIGHThappened. just a 'might'..
sama kaya dlu gw ga mau balik ke kampung halaman cuma karena takut remed fisika, pdhl belum tentu jg gw remed.. karena gw takut culture shock, pdhl blm tentu gw sebodoh itu in making friends.
sama kaya just now gw resign dr hnmun, pdhl belum tentu gw ga bisa bagi waktu u/ belajar. belum tentu gw ga naik tingkat gara2 2 minggu off dr perkuliahan..
useless assumption.
apa gw menyesal skrg? enggak. at least i know now, that this kinda things should not happen again. semua tergantung niat, kalo emang niat ini suci, then anything in this earth, as God permits, will help us to get adjusted.
sekarang,gw udh memilih jodoh gw adalah menyelesaikan thn ke2 gw as i fantasized it, as i planned it. there other things (in the return) that i have to finish.
semoga segala jenis perubahan di depan mata gw; entah itu idealisme temen2 gw (since gw tiba2 berada di tengah perpolitikan fakultas), perubahan gaya bersikap dan bertindak pemimpin2 gw, prubahan prioritas yang labil, sikap dari hati atau sekedar formalitas yang keluar dr diri gw; adalah pilihan dari Allah which i percieved those as mengarah kepada kelebihbaikan.. bukan sebaliknya. amin
He gives choices. in the end, those choices will be the available lifepaths we can take. whether it'd be the best, it depends on how we perceived the decision we have made.
i have this 'idiom' from my friend's learning issue, referred to her psychiatry book. the research stated the idiom 'useless assumption' as getting freaked out by things that MIGHThappened. just a 'might'..
sama kaya dlu gw ga mau balik ke kampung halaman cuma karena takut remed fisika, pdhl belum tentu jg gw remed.. karena gw takut culture shock, pdhl blm tentu gw sebodoh itu in making friends.
sama kaya just now gw resign dr hnmun, pdhl belum tentu gw ga bisa bagi waktu u/ belajar. belum tentu gw ga naik tingkat gara2 2 minggu off dr perkuliahan..
useless assumption.
apa gw menyesal skrg? enggak. at least i know now, that this kinda things should not happen again. semua tergantung niat, kalo emang niat ini suci, then anything in this earth, as God permits, will help us to get adjusted.
sekarang,gw udh memilih jodoh gw adalah menyelesaikan thn ke2 gw as i fantasized it, as i planned it. there other things (in the return) that i have to finish.
semoga segala jenis perubahan di depan mata gw; entah itu idealisme temen2 gw (since gw tiba2 berada di tengah perpolitikan fakultas), perubahan gaya bersikap dan bertindak pemimpin2 gw, prubahan prioritas yang labil, sikap dari hati atau sekedar formalitas yang keluar dr diri gw; adalah pilihan dari Allah which i percieved those as mengarah kepada kelebihbaikan.. bukan sebaliknya. amin
same frequency
her name is hye yoon chung. she is 'unreplacable'-i dont care if it is a word, she is UN-REPLACE-ABLE.
i've been acquainted with people, i've been knowing friends, i've been caring, loving best friends.
yet, i've never found somebody in the same frequency (as in radio wave frequency) as i am. but her.
she is (until now) the best mate. we are planning to visit bali for our honeymoon (she and i, and our husbands)-if God permits.
his name is muhammad mishbah. a total loyal, full of understanding best friend.
lots of advices he's been given for the sake of MY sake.
yes, we go way back. he always in my calling distance. good deed doer.
love telling his new rebellious movement on his campus (even though he knows i hate to hear his stories)-like being a tablet of vicodin while im being pain in the as*.
her name is lokitania kirana.. i thought she just another ordinary girlfriends i usually hanged out with. i totally love her when i realized that she was the one who i hugged- i cried on my 17th bday, and shes always there. we were walking from school to my home and fiddling around together.
i have a pair of earrings. i keep one for me, and she has the other one.
her name is lulu muna saadah. we go waaaayyy back in elementary school. never heard a lot from her again, yet she is still hanging on my mind. we are old best friends without meeting our eyes.
his name is danar lukman akbar. like have been having three phases of life. senior year in high school, 1st year in dormitory, 2 yrs of college life. all those three are highly test for adaptation capability.
i have many things in common, this may be why, it wasnt hard to get to know him at first, and it's been fun to have him around now.
he is my younger-brother-like-friend. thats something.
i wrote this, to appreciate, to recall vividly persons who takes me the way i am. they ease me. thank them for everything they've been given.
in future, perhaps more name will be written down, yet definitely, these names wont fade.
11/2 '09. in the middle of recalling and thanking God for letting me having this kinda folks.
i've been acquainted with people, i've been knowing friends, i've been caring, loving best friends.
yet, i've never found somebody in the same frequency (as in radio wave frequency) as i am. but her.
she is (until now) the best mate. we are planning to visit bali for our honeymoon (she and i, and our husbands)-if God permits.
his name is muhammad mishbah. a total loyal, full of understanding best friend.
lots of advices he's been given for the sake of MY sake.
yes, we go way back. he always in my calling distance. good deed doer.
love telling his new rebellious movement on his campus (even though he knows i hate to hear his stories)-like being a tablet of vicodin while im being pain in the as*.
her name is lokitania kirana.. i thought she just another ordinary girlfriends i usually hanged out with. i totally love her when i realized that she was the one who i hugged- i cried on my 17th bday, and shes always there. we were walking from school to my home and fiddling around together.
i have a pair of earrings. i keep one for me, and she has the other one.
her name is lulu muna saadah. we go waaaayyy back in elementary school. never heard a lot from her again, yet she is still hanging on my mind. we are old best friends without meeting our eyes.
his name is danar lukman akbar. like have been having three phases of life. senior year in high school, 1st year in dormitory, 2 yrs of college life. all those three are highly test for adaptation capability.
i have many things in common, this may be why, it wasnt hard to get to know him at first, and it's been fun to have him around now.
he is my younger-brother-like-friend. thats something.
i wrote this, to appreciate, to recall vividly persons who takes me the way i am. they ease me. thank them for everything they've been given.
in future, perhaps more name will be written down, yet definitely, these names wont fade.
11/2 '09. in the middle of recalling and thanking God for letting me having this kinda folks.
bff-ffb
31 oktober 2009
as simple as putting its abbreviation backwards..
if things we've got are things we shared, may they be understood what kind of intentions they've been giving and fruits they will earn.
la vie for those who shares true care. may those are including me and them, yang gw pikir udah ngasi true care to their friends. semoga mereka benar2 seperti apa yang gw pikir.
missing american life,high school's old pals,kel.c5-rps, mam pap.
as simple as putting its abbreviation backwards..
if things we've got are things we shared, may they be understood what kind of intentions they've been giving and fruits they will earn.
la vie for those who shares true care. may those are including me and them, yang gw pikir udah ngasi true care to their friends. semoga mereka benar2 seperti apa yang gw pikir.
missing american life,high school's old pals,kel.c5-rps, mam pap.
incapable of
i'm incapable of being nice
i'm incapable of tolerating
of hiding feelings
of being profound
do i even try?
i live shallow because deep tortures.
i live altruistically, i thought i made myself happy. i do not.
its nice to have no one to keep.
then, i dont even have to try to be able.
i let go. thou reluctantly, but i let go
im exhausted. im tired of belongings and the responsibilities to keep it.
or the feeling of trying to be responsible.
take me. or leave me.
thank God for letting me had the sense of humanity and human-being's sanity for once.
i'm incapable of tolerating
of hiding feelings
of being profound
do i even try?
i live shallow because deep tortures.
i live altruistically, i thought i made myself happy. i do not.
its nice to have no one to keep.
then, i dont even have to try to be able.
i let go. thou reluctantly, but i let go
im exhausted. im tired of belongings and the responsibilities to keep it.
or the feeling of trying to be responsible.
take me. or leave me.
thank God for letting me had the sense of humanity and human-being's sanity for once.
by www.vanityfair.com
i like her picture here.
casually elegant.
its the queen of great britain,
in case you dont recognize.
pinknya itu calms her (biasanya dia bermuka tenang tapi keras gitu, tapi posenya disini, denies it).
apalagi skirtnya yang rapel gitu, seakan ada backyard gede di belakang dia, terus berdiri 3 scottish bagpiper deh. just so england *and so candy-candy.
but the shoes thou, somehow firms her.
sebenernya yang bikin dia selalu elegant itu adalah kalung mutiara yang always 3 jejer itu.
dan gw ga pernah tau kalo the queen boleh nyemplakin kaki kaya gitu. haha
her hat and the rayban, thats just fun.
with this outfit, karakter high-class profile nya keliatan, humble dan funnya juga keliatan.
i like her here.
pinknya itu calms her (biasanya dia bermuka tenang tapi keras gitu, tapi posenya disini, denies it).
apalagi skirtnya yang rapel gitu, seakan ada backyard gede di belakang dia, terus berdiri 3 scottish bagpiper deh. just so england *and so candy-candy.
but the shoes thou, somehow firms her.
sebenernya yang bikin dia selalu elegant itu adalah kalung mutiara yang always 3 jejer itu.
dan gw ga pernah tau kalo the queen boleh nyemplakin kaki kaya gitu. haha
her hat and the rayban, thats just fun.
with this outfit, karakter high-class profile nya keliatan, humble dan funnya juga keliatan.
i like her here.
at james gwee's seminar, he stated that everybody, i repeat, everybody, in this world HAVE their god-given talent. God is not like a supreme being who'll forget. EVERYONE has it. the talent is either, later on, develop or ignored.
to know, what is really your talent, is that you are happy to do it, you will enjoy, and dadada. once you dont like or feel bored about it, then it wasnt your talent.
talents are: enjoy, earn, and the other word starts from e. i cant recall.
so, it kinda different with hobby, i think. though, i dont know how to differentiate. talent sound more serious and long last. i cant put reading and writing as my hobbies all the time. or playing piano, or giving speech, or listening to everyones craps. its like later on i said to myself that, start anything, right now, just see how it goes.
then i start knitting,
then i start dancing,
then i start sleeping.
nothing keeps me awake. well, knit used to be what wakes me up. not anymore thou. what is it really my talent, or hobby, or whatever the vocab you use for describing: a thing that keeps you sane between weekends? *since sekarang weekend gw juga dipake buat ke puskesmas, then let me rephrase, that keeps me sane between sundays?
so, i eat. i feel like a snob right now, i spend a lot budget in eating. because good food boost the mood. its funny though, when i started to working out, i gained weight. but now, i eat a lot, but i maintain my weight, actually, my ideal weight *ehem (its my height minus 100). im serious, but its just it doesnt change to muscle yet.
but hey, that what makes me happy.
it feels like, i can be a stranger anytime i eat in a strange place, dealing with menu in some strange languages, also, the foods, they usually come in strange taste also. like in the movie 'the vow', its like chocolate in russian roulette, you dont know what you pick. you tongue may like it, or may not. its like a total experience. thats how you be grateful of what you eat.
oh i miss airports. i need observing strangers. nuts.
to know, what is really your talent, is that you are happy to do it, you will enjoy, and dadada. once you dont like or feel bored about it, then it wasnt your talent.
talents are: enjoy, earn, and the other word starts from e. i cant recall.
so, it kinda different with hobby, i think. though, i dont know how to differentiate. talent sound more serious and long last. i cant put reading and writing as my hobbies all the time. or playing piano, or giving speech, or listening to everyones craps. its like later on i said to myself that, start anything, right now, just see how it goes.
then i start knitting,
then i start dancing,
then i start sleeping.
nothing keeps me awake. well, knit used to be what wakes me up. not anymore thou. what is it really my talent, or hobby, or whatever the vocab you use for describing: a thing that keeps you sane between weekends? *since sekarang weekend gw juga dipake buat ke puskesmas, then let me rephrase, that keeps me sane between sundays?
so, i eat. i feel like a snob right now, i spend a lot budget in eating. because good food boost the mood. its funny though, when i started to working out, i gained weight. but now, i eat a lot, but i maintain my weight, actually, my ideal weight *ehem (its my height minus 100). im serious, but its just it doesnt change to muscle yet.
but hey, that what makes me happy.
it feels like, i can be a stranger anytime i eat in a strange place, dealing with menu in some strange languages, also, the foods, they usually come in strange taste also. like in the movie 'the vow', its like chocolate in russian roulette, you dont know what you pick. you tongue may like it, or may not. its like a total experience. thats how you be grateful of what you eat.
oh i miss airports. i need observing strangers. nuts.
we havent met each other for like 3 years now.
we sat side by side, tried to understand, how can be a lil piece of me is in this person, is in that person.
i asked, "so, how is it your relationship between you and the guy in front of you?"
she said, "nothing." "really? i thought there was something special between you two."
she said, "what is it?"
and i explained to her, what i have been noticing for the last 2 hours.
she said, " i have never seen you for years, and now you are cutting my heart, stereoing what i've been hiding for the last 3 years."
then she added, "sometimes, we need an outsider to reveal whats inside."
we sat side by side, tried to understand, how can be a lil piece of me is in this person, is in that person.
i asked, "so, how is it your relationship between you and the guy in front of you?"
she said, "nothing." "really? i thought there was something special between you two."
she said, "what is it?"
and i explained to her, what i have been noticing for the last 2 hours.
she said, " i have never seen you for years, and now you are cutting my heart, stereoing what i've been hiding for the last 3 years."
then she added, "sometimes, we need an outsider to reveal whats inside."
travel is..
Travel is the simple chance of reinventing ourselves at new places where we are nobody but a stranger.
Travel is the discovery of what and who we miss the most.
Travel is the same pair of jeans for a week and different experiences every day.
Travel is finding new things and new people to miss.
Travel is discovering the part of yourself that you never knew existed before.
Travel is that one song in your iPod that will forever remind you of that one sexy afternoon somewhere.
Travel is the discovery of who misses us the most.
Travel is answering the question ‘business or pleasure’ without blinking.
Travel is deciding who will be the last call before you take off and the first call after you landed.
Travel is a test of your physical and emotional tolerance.
Travel is a one hour conversation that could lead to a lifelong friendship.
Travel is that one boarding pass you keep in your wallet to remind yourself one day when you’re gray and old that you were once cool.
Travel is waking up in a strange bed and feeling home and waking up in your own bed one day and feeling like a stranger.
It’s learning not to take every second for granted.
Travel is learning that the journey is as memorable as the destination.
Travel is discovering that random act of kindness does exist.
Travel is learning to communicate with just a smile.
Travel is not wanting to sleep because for once reality is more interesting than your dream.
Travel is not being afraid to fall in love with a complete stranger.
Travel is where broken English is welcomed with a wide smile instead of greeted by a grammar nazi.
Travel is where people that you talk to really try to understand what you’re trying to say.
Travel is finding out more reasons to write. And more reasons to live.
Travel, sometimes, is the rediscovery of our nationalism.
Travel is that one stranger across the street you will always wonder if he/she is your soul mate.
Travel is wearing those clothes you couldn’t wear back home.
Travel is realizing the things you cannot live without.
Travel is realizing that maybe you know nothing.
Travel is wearing a stranger’s jacket and feeling home.
Travel is meeting you.
-copied from ika natassa.tumblr
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