may 29, 2011. 6.56
what to prepare:
1. tahu lebih banyak dari orang lain
2. berusaha lebih keras dari orang lain
3. berharap lebih sedikit dari orang lain
- william shakespeare
dulu, titis lintang andari.live long, and prosper. fasenya sama: look in an awe, kenal, look more in awes, in the end, berterima kasih for changing this life. sekarang almira aliyannisa, belum sampai fase akhir.
#masih memikirkan Indonesia Mengajar, walaupun bertambah orang yang ngasih tanda keberatan.
sedikit mati di profile application halaman pertama: Apakah Anda bersedia meninggalkan pekerjaan/kegiatan anda jika diterima sebagai Pengajar Muda? jawabannya:
Tidak.
karena ada pilihan: menyenangkan hati banyak orang terdekat, atau menyenangkan hati lebih banyak hati orang-orang yang belum dikenal? ini mengenai bagaimana berkomitmen untuk mengabdi, jauh sebelum tahu lebih dalam kepada siapa pengabdian ini akan disalurkan. kewajiban yang lama ada di bahu ini sudah tahu jalan mana yang harus diambil.
kemudian pilihan selanjutnya adalah: menyenangkan hati lebih banyak orang, dengan sedikit mengecewakan hati sedikit orang terdekat sama sekali bukan pilihan ketika dihadapkan dengan gimana mereka bisa kecewa, kenal aja engga. mau ikut syukur, engga pun, masih banyak pemuda lain yang sama besar keinginannya dengan peluang lebih besar dalam hidupnya.
semoga ini bukan excuse. semakin dewasa, semakin banyak tahu: tanggung jawab (sebagai diri sendiri, sebagai orang yang mengidamkan kebebasan, sebagai orang mengerti kepada siapa harus berbalas, sebagai orang yang seharusnya sudah mengerti arti prioritas), dari siapa, untuk siapa, oleh siapa. dari sini pumn, lingkungan sudah memutuskan,
dan sekarang, argumentasi bukan lagi tentang pihak ketiga.
tapi perang pikiran untuk si subyek pelaku: egois dengan dalih, atau lurus2 aja try to fit in with what people's desire? apapun jawabannya berdampak pada kekecewaan: diri sendiri/orang lain.
long-lasting last words.
may 18, 2011. 7.34 pm
"do you already know....you desperation?" someone asked. And any words couldnt answer that.
.
i was sitting alone in my dark and small room, thinking i might be cutting a few days in this world, limiting chances to do good deeds, and realizing that everyone is preparing themselves to breath their last.
this email came to me this evening. my mom is such a sensitive person. once i told her that she might not understand the circumstance i've been facing, alone. i hoped that doesnt hurt her. i lost all the ability to keep good diction at the time. dear Allah, forgive me, and may she live long and prosper.
i believe that she gave me, everything she could to keep me...safe.
Alexander The Great's Last Words
"ice melt when heated, eyes melt when hated"
......the mighty conqueror lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last.
He called his generals, and said, "I will depart from this world soon, i have 3 wishes, please carry them out without fail."
"My first desire is that, my physician alone must carry my coffin." After a pause, he continued, "Secondly, i desire that when my coffin is being carried to grave, the path leading to the graveyard be strewn with gold , silver, and precious stones which i have collected in my treasury." Felt exhausted, and he kept going, "My third and last wish is that both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin."
Alexander's favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart, and said," O King, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. but tell us why do you make such strange wishes?"
At this Alexander too a deep breath and said," I would like the world to know of the three lessons i have just learned."
Lessons from the last 3 wishes:
1) I want my physician to carry my coffin because people should realize that NO doctor can really cure anybody. They are POWERLESS and cannot save a person from the clutches of death. So, let not people take life for granted.
2)The second wish of strewing gold, silver, and other riches on the way to the graveyard is to tell people that not even a fraction of gold will come with me, I spent all my life earning riches but cannot take anything with me. Let people realize that is it a sheer waste of time to chase wealth.
3)And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of coffin, i wish people to know that i came into this world and empty handed i go out of this world.
Lessons to learn, hi me.
what you do for yourself dies with you but what you do for others lives on. it is called: LEGACY.
and this came in the same email:
happiness keeps you sweet
trials keep you strong
success keeps you glowing
but only GOD keeps you going.
-in times i wish i could feel the intense presence of Allah, to right away tell me what to do
"do you already know....you desperation?" someone asked. And any words couldnt answer that.
.
i was sitting alone in my dark and small room, thinking i might be cutting a few days in this world, limiting chances to do good deeds, and realizing that everyone is preparing themselves to breath their last.
this email came to me this evening. my mom is such a sensitive person. once i told her that she might not understand the circumstance i've been facing, alone. i hoped that doesnt hurt her. i lost all the ability to keep good diction at the time. dear Allah, forgive me, and may she live long and prosper.
i believe that she gave me, everything she could to keep me...safe.
Alexander The Great's Last Words
"ice melt when heated, eyes melt when hated"
......the mighty conqueror lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last.
He called his generals, and said, "I will depart from this world soon, i have 3 wishes, please carry them out without fail."
"My first desire is that, my physician alone must carry my coffin." After a pause, he continued, "Secondly, i desire that when my coffin is being carried to grave, the path leading to the graveyard be strewn with gold , silver, and precious stones which i have collected in my treasury." Felt exhausted, and he kept going, "My third and last wish is that both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin."
Alexander's favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart, and said," O King, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. but tell us why do you make such strange wishes?"
At this Alexander too a deep breath and said," I would like the world to know of the three lessons i have just learned."
Lessons from the last 3 wishes:
1) I want my physician to carry my coffin because people should realize that NO doctor can really cure anybody. They are POWERLESS and cannot save a person from the clutches of death. So, let not people take life for granted.
2)The second wish of strewing gold, silver, and other riches on the way to the graveyard is to tell people that not even a fraction of gold will come with me, I spent all my life earning riches but cannot take anything with me. Let people realize that is it a sheer waste of time to chase wealth.
3)And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of coffin, i wish people to know that i came into this world and empty handed i go out of this world.
Lessons to learn, hi me.
what you do for yourself dies with you but what you do for others lives on. it is called: LEGACY.
and this came in the same email:
happiness keeps you sweet
trials keep you strong
sorrow keeps you human
failures keeps you humblesuccess keeps you glowing
but only GOD keeps you going.
-in times i wish i could feel the intense presence of Allah, to right away tell me what to do
munafik.
may 17, 2011. 04.00 am
kemarin pagi ngedengerin radio:
"tanda2 orang munafik itu 1) ketika bicara, ia berdusta, 2) ketika berjanji, ia ingkar, 3) ketika dipercaya, ia khianat."
a doctor has so much of these chances to be a hypocrite.
mentioned it, physically inactive, nicotine, caffeine, alcohol. hypocrisy to self. may God forgive. amin.
karena kadang mahasiswa kedokteran (saya) membutuhkannya.
astagfirullahaladzim.
semoga kebaikan yang kami lakukan semasa hidup kami bisa menjauhkan kami dari neraka-Mu dan mendekatkan kami ke surga-Mu.
jangan sampai kita successfully developed in a destructing way, to self, or to others. *teguran untuk diri sendiri, teguran untuk diri sendiri. muhasabah untuk diri sendiri.
kemarin pagi ngedengerin radio:
"tanda2 orang munafik itu 1) ketika bicara, ia berdusta, 2) ketika berjanji, ia ingkar, 3) ketika dipercaya, ia khianat."
a doctor has so much of these chances to be a hypocrite.
mentioned it, physically inactive, nicotine, caffeine, alcohol. hypocrisy to self. may God forgive. amin.
karena kadang mahasiswa kedokteran (saya) membutuhkannya.
astagfirullahaladzim.
semoga kebaikan yang kami lakukan semasa hidup kami bisa menjauhkan kami dari neraka-Mu dan mendekatkan kami ke surga-Mu.
jangan sampai kita successfully developed in a destructing way, to self, or to others. *teguran untuk diri sendiri, teguran untuk diri sendiri. muhasabah untuk diri sendiri.
 |
Parasitic twin. |
dear God, thank you for bringing the soul back to my body today
may 10, 2011. 10.08
i wasnt well enough yesterday to go to campus. this mucus and wheezing, and also vomiting took most of my energy only to breath. by the desire to vomit comes, it even a bit annoying. it was actually hard to fulfill the desire of vomit and breathing in a time.
but it was yesterday. and it wasnt all that bad. bedridden all day long would make me nuts, so i surf the internet, my piles of books, my origami papers.
i finished mitch albom, and that totally lightened up my birthday by starting to admire the intense presence of Allah even more.
i downloaded tomoko fuse, the fabulous origami boxes. that was the one anna had while i was in the states. my had arent that expert anymore, but it was nice to have all the melancholy back!
this is what made the beginning of my day today.
"if you are looking for the miracles God can do with a life, you are looking at one."
to dwikie mandala putra: i was thinking of you last night. i hope u are in a good shape up there.
to fahrani imanina: i can distinguish you from others. thank you! you know i love you, rancuy!
to mikoriza mustofanny: how a good, gentle-mannered man you are!
i wasnt well enough yesterday to go to campus. this mucus and wheezing, and also vomiting took most of my energy only to breath. by the desire to vomit comes, it even a bit annoying. it was actually hard to fulfill the desire of vomit and breathing in a time.
but it was yesterday. and it wasnt all that bad. bedridden all day long would make me nuts, so i surf the internet, my piles of books, my origami papers.
i finished mitch albom, and that totally lightened up my birthday by starting to admire the intense presence of Allah even more.
i downloaded tomoko fuse, the fabulous origami boxes. that was the one anna had while i was in the states. my had arent that expert anymore, but it was nice to have all the melancholy back!
this is what made the beginning of my day today.
"if you are looking for the miracles God can do with a life, you are looking at one."
to dwikie mandala putra: i was thinking of you last night. i hope u are in a good shape up there.
to fahrani imanina: i can distinguish you from others. thank you! you know i love you, rancuy!
to mikoriza mustofanny: how a good, gentle-mannered man you are!
cukup mudah.
may 9, 2011. 11.59
menghabiskan 6 jam memilah-milih tumblr, toh akhirnya selalu jatuh ke old-fashioned one. blogspot. virtual ads opened my eyes.
3000 comments daily on my previous blog drove me nuts, coz i really cant sort ANY of my friends' comments, because, they were like buried needle in stacks of straw.
i realized how i do NOT want to change, how past always seemed so filled by victories. it supposed to be an easy way to runaway from past by signing in to a new blog, but it IS me who doesnt believe in letting go.
jadi inget kata2 pak mufid jaman sma kelas 2 dulu:
menghabiskan 6 jam memilah-milih tumblr, toh akhirnya selalu jatuh ke old-fashioned one. blogspot. virtual ads opened my eyes.
3000 comments daily on my previous blog drove me nuts, coz i really cant sort ANY of my friends' comments, because, they were like buried needle in stacks of straw.
i realized how i do NOT want to change, how past always seemed so filled by victories. it supposed to be an easy way to runaway from past by signing in to a new blog, but it IS me who doesnt believe in letting go.
jadi inget kata2 pak mufid jaman sma kelas 2 dulu:
"kata siapa masa lalu tempatnya hanya di tong sampah?"
by feet, by minutes
by feet, by minutes
march 27, 2011. 7.01 am
how earth can be so small when :
dinda: ” i heard them speaking indonesian language”
anna: ” go say hi to them”
dinda: “excuse me, indonesian?”
i forget her name, i remember her email -______- tazmannita: “iya, orang indonesia juga?”
dinda: ” wahhh, bla bla bla”
this was from the above conversation
tazmannita: “aku tinggal di jatibening”
dinda: “(what??) jauh2 ke us, ketemu orang yang 15 menit naik sepeda nyampe. haha”
and we emailed each other for a couple of times.
perbincangan di atas ferry dari sea ke puget isl, wa.
——————————————-
how earth can be so big when:
dinda:”jumat gw di jakartaaaaa. ngopi di torryyyy”
nia: “yaaahh. aku ada uts.. minggu yuk!”
dinda: “udah pulang lagi ke nangor itu sih. sabtu sore?”
nia: “udah janjian ama mama. pagi?”
dinda: “janji ke kondangan ama mama.”
ga jodoh pisan.
——————————————-
time seems run so fast when:
dinda: “i really gotta go, i have class on 7 tomorrow. here, its like another 3 hours. dammit, i need sleep.”
hye yoon: “skip school. dont act like you never do it, dont you?
dinda: “LOL. you evil. too much angels whisper no in my ears.
hye yoon: guess i will see you later.
and the conversation ended. its 3.30 am in jkt, sometime in the early evening in ny.
——————————————–
time seems crawl so slow when
you are hoping that something may happen the way you write on your mind-scenario or in your day-dreaming plan,
but God has different script.
somebody in the same spot, but they missed each other by minutes, or they missed each other by feet in a crowded area.
march 27, 2011. 7.01 am
how earth can be so small when :
dinda: ” i heard them speaking indonesian language”
anna: ” go say hi to them”
dinda: “excuse me, indonesian?”
i forget her name, i remember her email -______- tazmannita: “iya, orang indonesia juga?”
dinda: ” wahhh, bla bla bla”
this was from the above conversation
tazmannita: “aku tinggal di jatibening”
dinda: “(what??) jauh2 ke us, ketemu orang yang 15 menit naik sepeda nyampe. haha”
and we emailed each other for a couple of times.
perbincangan di atas ferry dari sea ke puget isl, wa.
——————————————-
how earth can be so big when:
dinda:”jumat gw di jakartaaaaa. ngopi di torryyyy”
nia: “yaaahh. aku ada uts.. minggu yuk!”
dinda: “udah pulang lagi ke nangor itu sih. sabtu sore?”
nia: “udah janjian ama mama. pagi?”
dinda: “janji ke kondangan ama mama.”
ga jodoh pisan.
——————————————-
time seems run so fast when:
dinda: “i really gotta go, i have class on 7 tomorrow. here, its like another 3 hours. dammit, i need sleep.”
hye yoon: “skip school. dont act like you never do it, dont you?
dinda: “LOL. you evil. too much angels whisper no in my ears.
hye yoon: guess i will see you later.
and the conversation ended. its 3.30 am in jkt, sometime in the early evening in ny.
——————————————–
time seems crawl so slow when
you are hoping that something may happen the way you write on your mind-scenario or in your day-dreaming plan,
but God has different script.
somebody in the same spot, but they missed each other by minutes, or they missed each other by feet in a crowded area.
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