like im talking, like one will respond.

in the end-linkin park. an old song, i heard in the right moment, thank God to streaming technology.

It starts with
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time

All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away

It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Or wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how

I tried so hard
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised

It got so far
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end

You kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

#people will forget what you say, they wont forget how you make them feel.

ya Allah, berkahilah hidup kami. jauhkan kami dari neraka-Mu.
turunkan surga-Mu untuk kami, orang tua kami, anak cucu kami, dan orang2
 yang menyayangi kami, yang mengingatkan kami, yang mengajari kami, yang mendoakan kami. jadikan kami keluarga yg selamat, yang selalu di bawah lindungan-Mu.
dekat dengan ridho dan maaf-Mu.

dear Allah, please forgive us.
please grant us as those who will inheret Your Firdaus. and stay inside.

where do you wanna stay mom? pop?

may 28. 1905

"saya pikir, mama seneng saya bawa keluar dari rumah ini. saya kerja siang malem, sekolah tinggi, ngebangun rumah yang jauh lebih nyaman dari rumah ini. tapi ternyata mama ngerasa di penjara di rumah saya. gak bisa kemana-mana katanya. sampai akhirnya mama maksa untuk balik ke rumah ini lagi"

cerita seorang anak yang ibunya pasien saya, yang kebetulan lagi di rumah ibunya, ketika saya lagi home visit.

for you, guys, yang tinggal jauh dari mama papa untuk sekolah tinggi, dan yang berharap bisa membalas segala kebaikan orang tua dengan memprovide kehidupan yang lebih baik dari apa yang mereka punya saat ini, do you think that your dream match with what they hope?

belum tentu. please, do make conversation with your parents. ask them how kinda life they are dreaming when they got old, do they wanna stay with your kids? do they wanna spend time only with their spouses? do they wanna us to decide which menu should they have this evening? because they are still parents, we are still their kids.

things like this happen:
mom : ndut, nanti kalo mom tua, mom tinggal ama kamu yaa..
dinda : aku bikinin jus sayur tiap hari yaaa..
pop : yahh. papa ga tinggal bareng kamu deh
dinda : -_________-"

mom : nanti kamu s2 di jakarta aja ya, biar deket ama mom
dinda : iya nanti sekalian biar rumahnya aku beresin ya? (just so you now, in my house, there is no empty chair, empty desk, empty space. they are all stuffed with stuff. ok, jgn dibahas)
mom : -____-" kamu di bandung aja deh, beli rumah disana
dinda : *teeettttt
she gets obnoxious everytime i complain about the house being such an airplane-crash.

so, just now, i bbm-ed my mom, i asked, "mom nanti kalo jalan2 mau disetirin ama aku, apa mau dikasih supir aja?"

i just wanna make things work out in the end.
i wanna know their feelings.
they knew i love them.

fruits of blogwalking.

may 27 2012, 1440

in this kinda time, im supposed to: STUDY. karena precisely in the next 19 hrs, gw bakal ujian. but just now, i decided to do blogwalking. its not that i underestimate tomorrow's killing field. its just that i dont know how to practice for exam. gimana caranya practice buat konseling? ngomong ama tembok tentang bagaimana dia bisa kena diare? so, thats it. the next second after determined that the wall wasnt cooperative enough, i did blogwalking, and blogwriting.

i met my kinda twin actually. seneng ngeliat gaya bahasa, the writings, the thoughts, all the lightness, and the sorrow behind responsibilities. kaya lagi di fase yang sama. am i going to stalk? engga ah, stalking never worth a penny. far spectator seemed enough.

i walked over some postings, randomly, some older postings, a lil bit more in newer. bummer. sama. ngaco banget ini.

so, charms isnt always physical yah, it is also in words. 

*seakan baru tau arti 'gombal' aja -___-" teettt.

udah ah, belajar geura dind! 

#halomeracau.

gila ini orang, persis amat tulisannya. ergh, pengen ngecompare ama blog gw yg dulu. guess i will have something to do in the next thirty minutes before actually slapping my face. 

r: its just beautiful when u realize and stop and stare for a few minutes only gazing the stars. hahaa. a whole new things to see, to enjoy. haha. sounds lonely huh? but i told you. try to enjoy the minutes of your life, the little piece that may come in your everyway, and here it is.

me: it didnt sound lonely, dude. it sounded like you are in relationship with freedom.

r: ahh. you know how to say it.



when youre happy like a fool, let it take you over
when everything it out, you gotta take it in
this gotta be  a good life - onerepublic

i was thinking that i aint going anywhere.

at least i did 3 kindness today.

ketika melihat secara dewasa small things can be complicated. i remember what aidil said, to always not forget to see small things dari mata anak kecil, when the easiest thing can be so fascinating.


#qualitytime sama nadhila..

if everyone is special, then special is common.

#i do it for myself.
#i do it, because i like to do it.
#fake it till you feel it.

godspeed.

"godspeed you," may God grant you success. jalan masih panjang, mungkin semerbak,
mungkin gelap.

shawl..

i am knitting, at least try to.. bagus yah. 

its feminine.

ini u/ jika n mt

working on aciw's n miks'

surprise surprise.

1 cm

for God gave me a foot closer to whats been so far. for past crawled and for me realized that its there.

graduation :-)

first off, thanks to my mom yg udah ngedandanin gw,my dad yang ngejemput akuw di kosan tengah malem, buat mbak dian yang ud moto2, dimas yg nganterin ke granus :. above all, thanks for curving lives together, me love you to pieces.

graduation day implied an overrated explosion of misses, thanks to whpm i've been spending my life with. a potrait of uncounted people crosses your mind, but time didnt let you have them between arms. chains of important persons, so long and so matter till i cant say whos next to me, all i know that every piece matters, to hold on to.

for the flowers, thanks dear mely soraya, affabile rifawan, rizki hiwigo, nurul ihsan n ridho :) for the time, thanks dear ubaidillah, dear arrizasyifaa.

for such great reciprocal sharings, dear robin fahrani i
manina.

for your meaningful presence, dear fkup2008, you are such a beauty of a life chapter. jazakumullah..