passionate to knife and stitch

july 30, 2019. 0732 hrs

it was thursday morning. we were going to have surgery to a pregnant mother of one daughter. yolk sac tumor had been recognized spreading to liver and certain level of abdomen. we predicted this gonna be a long day: cesarean section continued with debulking and another debulking of a recurrent cancer of uterus.

cesarean section went pretty smooth. we got the baby out, he cried out loud. we stitched, bleeding from our knife were controlled.

but it was pool of blood piled up. we sucked the blood, for 3 second the operating field was clean, but the the blood rose and stagnated. tumor implants were seen all the way from top to bottom. i told myself, the baby wont see her mom. the abdomen then packed with gauze, hoping the blood would clotted themselves. 7 hours of surgery.

we were just pushing our luck to the edge. mother died 12 hours after surgery.

we had only around 30 minutes to drink, eat, and pray while the nurses get the next patient ready.

the surgery that just about to performed was rather big and the operator was rather: the master. he delivered the baby of president's grad son. how cool.. but it wasnt that. for us, the surgery had to be conducted well. at the exact time, it wasnt so sweet, a lot of sighing, swearing, chuckles of disappointment.

every surgery has the pearls. this one of my favorite moments. 6 hours of surgery, exactly in front of me the most respected consultant, with me the trainees that has been showing the beauty of meticulous movement, revealing other side of obgyn i had never discovered. they can still be humorous and at moments prior surgery, they are pious. they were emotionless on the table, passionate and perfectionist.

my respect and appreciation to dr gatot purwoto, dr kade yudi, dr brian, dr anindhita, dr renardy reza, dr  indiarto.