Tidak bertuhan

Jul 19, 14.

Ketika fungsi luhur gagal, tidak ada syukur, dan tidak waras. Tanda manusia mulai kehilangan tuhannya. Deteriorasi.

Itu mungkin saya.

Katanya tuhan memberi ampunan. Mungkin ke saya juga. Gracias a dios.

Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

Sugardrunk

June 29, 2014. 2335

Can't sleep. Too much sugar from cesarean sections, curettage, and craniotomy.

The pace, the blood. Its... epic. Heroic. Dignified.

Too bad if I awarely waste the chances to pursue intellegence. Less sleep, more courage to break the habits.

Low profile, I'm there to learn. Not to prove.

May the 'hang over' stays. Dear soul, don't let me step on my own tounge. Dear Allah, thanks for the proof, guide me guide me, broaden my guts so I can act. Do not let me linger on words only.

Berkah Ramadhan :)

May Allah bless dr. Sis, Sp.OG, dr. Eka, Sp.BS, and ofcourse, the generous minded mas fajri.
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

Chessy moodbooster :)

Ini kok bisa-bisanya ya.. \(^♥^)/

A breeze on sunny day in panturaa

GR

100614 1919

Kegeeran is not about failure after putting your hopes up. Its about enjoying the possibilities.

Its one cure of boredom.

Hello goodbye

June 3, 2014 hrs

Meet rizki. Anak umur 6 th, ganteng, putih, terpelajar. Beda ama pasien2 lainnya yg biasanya kulitnya cokelat, rambutnya merah ditempa matahari indramayu.

Berhasil making good relationship with him. Berhasil bikin dia making promise not to makan sembarangan, minum yg manis2 n ga sehat lagi kalo nanti udah sembuh. Pinky promise.

Berhasil conviced the family to have the bravery to decide that the baby should be operated today. Cito. Emergency. diffuse peritonitis ec susp appendicitis perforasi. instead of having 5 hrs driving with that life threatening condition to have surgery di santosa, bandung.

Passed away 4 hours after the laparotomy.

Even i cant let go.

Semoga senang ya rizki disana.. semoga ayah ibumu diberi kesabaran.

Declaration of death

May 31, 1915 hrs.

#1
I was supposed to be thrilled, empathic, nervous. For my first, declaring, breaking bad news to the family didnt make me agitated.

#2
I told one patient about he has a possibility of having hiv/aids. Between telling brutal truth or hope, i chose brutal truth.

Cara melembutkan hati adalah shalat malam. Its been....
May Allah forgive

11/12


May 29, 2014

Ngeliat edisi embracing buton-nya fulki, i run out of my fingers if mind wont stop do life mathematical comparison.

Its my year and thats fulkis year.

Di tengah sahara indramayu kaya gini, gw lebih closely in touch with trucks n buses while fulki with her ocean yacht (lebay sih kalo dibilang yacht, tp di mata gw yg penuh jealousy, all those trips seemed heavenly joyful, as in trip with a yacht).

Okay. okay, lets list up targets:
1. Invitations. Dengan jarak sgini, one thing i can be helpful adalah dengan nyicil nama teman2 dan alamat mereka. Biar ga repot di akhir for the upcoming event.
2. Beli timbangan. No need to mention, but ofcourse i have target! *yosh
3. Be supportive ke mas irsyad. He's been dealing with parents, work, parents again, jakarta-bandung. So i need to reduce ego and all the whinings. -_-. I had been a good selfishless, haha, used to be.
4. Nonton bioskop di cirebon, culinary di indramayu, minum es kelapa di laut, naik kapal di laut jawa, ke pulau biawak, so far thats all i can think of.
5. Ikut operasi dokter eka lagi :")
6. Jd asisten 1 op sc.
7. Khatam al quran sebelum akad.
8. Hafal arrahman.
9. Pake sunblock tiap hari! Jgn malas!
10. Dont take life too seriouslylah. Dont forget to enjoy.

I put aside idealism for a while ya. I wanna blog to relax.

i am 25 and engaged.

May 29, 2014

It feels like series of good stories written for me.

I dont wanna write about him because i expect to understand beyond words. I wanna write along with him. to fill each other's blanks. To construct the most optimal out of us. Doubling, multiplying the power to create what is greater than oneself can conduct.

May Allah ease us, may Allah permit us to proceed.

May we never losing ourselves in the process of loving.




hope

Jan 24 2014, 0020 hrs

If the only choice left are the brutal truth or hope. Choose hope.
-chase

if its only words.

Jan 5, 2014. 2224 hrs

"We are born for cooperation, as are the feet, the hands, the eyelids, the upper and lower jaws" - marcus aurelius.

There are soooo much we can tell from the frown, from the gesture of rubbing hands, the clenched fists, the touchings, the tap, the position of the feet, etc..

There are so much i lose from only reading word without gestures.


all glory is fleeting

Jan 23, 2014 0344 hrs

All glory is fleeting. Theres nothing permanent and absolut. Whats meant to start, will start. That will pass or fade away. Whats end, will be.

It always feels good realizing the "been there."

Theres always a little something on goodbyes which eventually lead to a start. Phase of new anticipations, expectations. The elevation.

To my dearest Irsyad and his patience.






Jan 4, 2014 1428 hrs

Happy is when u dont wanna be someone else, dont wanna be somewhere else, what u have just feels right.






button up! its 2014 :)

Jan 2, 2014. 1327 hrs

I recall that one has to stop for a while, weighing options and eventually decide along with the unevitable consequences.

For some months of pause, i am now a MD. I chose to postpone entering the health service field and now teach.
Very yesterday, my brother-in-law (who i had been long to have) said," one who can do, do. One who cant do, teach. One who cant teach, teach PE." Funny saying from singapore. But then i introspect, the possibility of the rightness of that sentence. I dont want to conclude.

During my 'meditation' (the chosen diction to excuse my unupdated blog) somewhat evaluate that stop writing lowers my threshold of patience, and aggregates my aggresivity and been absorbed in huge romance. No guilty for what changed. Im happy anyway.

So, last resume of 2013: i finished my med school (for real now). I teach, which was i find very fun and meaningful, madly in love, get my life back from pieces (koas).

I like how my 2013 ended. It went well despite of the downs.

La vie, herdinda! Thanks to You, dear God.